I'm from the government and I'm here to gri...help.

On Notes from a Liar

Sometimes I've thought it would be worthwhile to write down the lies I tell over the course of a day or a week or whatever, but I'm more than a little afraid of the results. The human brain is impressively talented at deluding itself.

Posted on September 16, 2014 at 12:19 pm 0

On "A Random Man Has Life Advice"

This is perfect and makes me so happy.

I wonder if there is a video for the man who hits on you by calling you "sassy." I am not 13, fuckwad.

Posted on September 10, 2014 at 1:11 pm 0

On "A Random Man Has Life Advice"

@adriana UGGGGGGGH. There are few things on this planet that irritate me as much as people who assault you via greetings. It's not polite or civil; it's aggressive and assumes obligation on the part of the other person. The biggest reason I don't punch them is that would be acknowledgement, which is what they want.

Posted on September 10, 2014 at 1:08 pm 0

On Why Won't the Catholic Church Ordain Women?

@barefoot cuntessa I too was raised Catholic, and while I don't practice or belong to a specific church, I refuse to officially leave the capital-C Church because they have no incentive to change if people like me leave the system. Staying technically Catholic has qualified me to be a godmother, and say yes every time I'm asked. I'm gonna raise me some subversive, feminist, pushy Catholic kids who won't take no for an answer. I'd far rather stay patient and "in" the shitty system, so I can change it when opportunities arise, than leave and let the patriarchy have free reign to turn back the clock even more.

Posted on August 26, 2014 at 2:18 pm 0

On The Great Hope of TV's Female Crime-Stoppers

Big fan of The Bletchley Circle. Also, if you can find it on a PBS station somewhere, I recommend the Aussie production "Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries." Feminist flapper socialite becomes a private detective in 1920s Australia, bedding every hot dude she meets along the way to solving murders more efficiently than the police. Lots of focus on women and girls and feminist issues, through the prism of that era. And it is also SO MUCH FUN. The series is based on novels, of which I've read a few - somewhat different but equally enjoyable.

Posted on August 20, 2014 at 5:23 pm 0

On A Woman Tapes Her Street Harassers

I appreciate her last FAQ on the Cards site about discussing the harassment we face with other people, particularly men. A few weeks ago I was at a party where the hostesses had a catcall story and all of the women joined in with recent tales. The men were shocked at how many stories we had from just the last month or so, and how gross some of them were. These were feminist dudes but they really had no idea what we face on a daily basis. It definitely taught me to tell those stories more...I hadn't really seen a point, before, but I do now. They were having epiphanies as we talked about it.

Posted on July 21, 2014 at 4:55 pm 0

On This Is The Day Before 40

I've got a few years left, but still, WORD. Hard not to look at the big supposed-tos with some measure of frustration and lack of control (sorry, nonexistent offspring I was supposed to be done creating at 35, I am not an amoeba). But the small ones become almost badges of honor, don't they? I kind of take comfort in the fact that I still can't say "corduroy" (I know how it should sound, but my mouth likes to sprinkle in extra 'r's for the hell of it). I don't think I would feel quite like me if I ever mastered it.

I think it's the middle-ground ones that really taunt you. I'm close, but can't quite seem to finish the Ikea-to-real-furniture transition. Nothing says "accomplished adult" like taking your clothes out of a ten-year-old, overstuffed, broken Malm dresser!

Posted on July 21, 2014 at 4:11 pm 0

On Iceland vs Greece

Got addicted to skyr when I visited Iceland a few years ago. Did you know that based on the way it's made, it is technically a cheese?

Siggi's, while it was started by an Icelandic native, is a U.S.-based product. True Icelandic-produced skyr can be found at Whole Foods and probably other places under the brand name Skyr. That's what I like best, but it's a rare treat as I usually don't go to WF. I'm satisfied enough mixing fresh fruit (blueberries and peaches FTW) into plain Fage. I'd buy Siggi's instead of Fage if it came in the 35-oz container so I could get one to last a whole week.

Posted on June 26, 2014 at 12:55 pm 0

On Ask a Fancy Person: Entry-Level Expensive, Unwanted Guests and the Gratefulness Feedback Loop

@superfluous consonants

"Dear X,

Thank you for the adorable activity mat, and please accept our apology for taking this long to say so. Timmy really enjoys playing on the mat, and we think of you every time he uses it. During this particularly challenging and hectic year, having such wonderful friends and family has been a stabilizing force for us, and we have felt so grateful to have you even when we have not been able to express it when or how we would have preferred. Thank you again, and we hope you enjoy the picture of Timmy on the mat!

Love, Us

Posted on June 9, 2014 at 2:27 pm 3

On Too Emotional, Too Sensitive, Too Much

One strategy I've found very effective in striking a balance at work is to VOICE how I am feeling within the context of the situation causing the feelings, AFTER I've explained how I'm gonna handle this shit like a boss. Basically my feelings are like a pill that I slather in the peanut butter of professional competence so people will happily allow me to express my emotions. They don't even know that's what I'm doing! They think I'm "brash."

For example, one day last week I had to handle a totally avoidable crisis that REALLY pissed me off. First, I put the wheels in motion to fix the shit, and only when got to a stage where I was waiting for someone else to act did I tell my boss (who, granted, is awesome) how frustrated the situation made me and how I was sick of people jamming me with preventable crises all the time. In that conversation, I said that after I took care of the situation, I wanted to sit down with her and strategize things we could do that might help avoid future problems. So all those feels were layered within a heaping spoonful of corrective action, problem-solving, strategic improvements, etc. Everybody else sees Somebody Who Gets Shit Done, and I don't have to suppress anything. I emote all the time, but people consider me brash rather than emotional (or the dreaded "overemotional") because I do it in a way that is easier for them to accept. It makes a HUGE difference.

Posted on June 4, 2014 at 5:33 pm 1