I'm from the government and I'm here to gri...help.
@catalina So, I think I have a compromise solution that may work for you. This is basically what my parents did. Only, they eloped and told people after, and my dad's parents objected that they didn't marry in a Catholic church. So they went ahead and had a Catholic ceremony in my grandparents' hometown to appease them. But they did NOT have a wedding and that whole shebang. They also insisted that my grandparents honor their original, real wedding date for anniversary purposes. Now, my grandparents did do that; they seemed to care more that my parents were married in the eyes of the church at all, and weren't concerned about secular weddings not being real or anything like that. So its application for you works best if your mom takes a similar stance to my grandparents.
Basically, you just do what my parents did, just with advance notice. Get married where and when you want, then have a ceremony - but NOT a "wedding" - in your mom's church on a random Tuesday or whenever the priest will take you (or find a church near her with a more flexible priest if hers is rigid). And insist that the first date is the real one. That way, your *real* marriage wouldn't have any trace of a sham feeling to it, your mom would (hopefully) be happy that your marriage "passes" under her beliefs, and you don't have to deal with the whole throwing-a-wedding expense/hassle.
@leonstj i'm older than you – enough so that I didn't have a cell phone until AFTER college. So the whole "awkward phone convo" bit was...just life. And I HATE texting in the context of "dating" (with or without quotes). Funny thing is, I'm still baffled by people who text whole conversations, yet am as aghast as anyone at the idea of actually calling anyone other than my grandma.
@Slanted & Enchanted Exactly. :D
Raising my hand on loving this feature SO. MUCH.
Perhaps someone has done this and I have missed it, but I would LOVE to see a skit that transports the type of crap that happens via texting in pre-texting eras. As in, it's 1973, and a guy actually calls, barely speaks in sentences, and ends every statement with "haha" or "lol." Or better yet, it's 1873 and some dude takes and develops a selfie and sends it in the post.
@deathcabforcutes Yessssss! Latched onto the show in the first season because I appreciated how they strengthened the female characters, and right now I am digging the writers' twists on Hook (I mean come ON) and Pan.
Ummmmm, I want to see that movie.
Giving jellyfish vertigo is the least we can do to them since they go around destroying aquatic ecosystems and stinging indiscriminately. HAHAHA YOU GELATINOUS MONSTER, YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY IS UP.
I use "definitely" a lot in my own writing in an effort to subtly teach people that it is not spelled "definately," but I realized not long ago that I have developed a knee-jerk mistrust for other people based on their use of the word. What sparked the realization was that someone I didn't know well but who had been reliable to that point in our interactions responded to a question I asked by saying "I've gotta find out but I'll definitely let you know," and the word just leapt off the screen at me, as though shouting "I'm lying!" This person had shown himself to be believable, yet my immediate and certain reaction to reading that message was to NOT believe him. And I was right; he didn't follow up. I did not observe this bias in myself as it was forming (was probably too distracted by the maddening misspelling of the word), but I can definitely tell you now that I definitely do not trust anyone except myself to genuinely mean it when using "definitely."
@ATF@twitter On your last point, it kills me that our anti-rape message is "'No' means 'No'" when it SHOULD be "Everything but 'YES!!' Means 'NO.'" And really, that's not just for sexual encounters, but ANY touching. Especially when it comes to women and girls, the assumption is "If I like X about her, I can just go touch that thing," even for strangers! People march right up to a pregnant lady and put their hands on her belly. If someone likes your hair or your jacket, they'll PET it, or (this has happened to me) pull one of your curls so it springs back for their enjoyment. I AM NOT A SLINKY; KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS TO YOURSELF. (You might sense I get very confrontational about this.)
@Story #2 My parents are both engineers, but my dad worked for most of my upbringing for a very small business that didn't get computers at all until after 2000, and my mom worked primarily for a larger company that moved to computers relatively early. What's more, when they first got DOS-based computers in the early 80s, my mom's boss dumped a DOS manual on her desk and said "Learn this. Then teach it to everyone else," cause he didn't want to deal with it, and his lazy sexist approach to management led to my mom becoming a super-badass ninja computer whisperer.
@karenb Ugh, too late, and YES I wanted to slap that guy. "Building things is in male DNA." What a shame he wasn't there when I was little to tell me all the Legos and blocks and Transformers and Capsela I played with obsessively were for Y chromosomes.