I'm from the government and I'm here to gri...help.
"Anna Perks, the author of 'Collywobbles in Bedfordshire,' reveals why emotions are unfortunate and best left unacknowledged."
Greatest sentence of all time.
@pterodactylish Wow, that was baseless and unwarranted. She wasn't attacking or ignoring you; she was excluding you. Having one thing in common with the people she *is* referencing doesn't include you in the group. She was generalizing to an average to illustrate a point about a different subject. Writers have to be allowed to do that as a tool. As a reader, you can reasonably distinguish yourself from the generalization, it's likely you aren't meant to be covered by it.
In this case, she was generalizing to the thoughtless taking of husbands' names. She never insinuated that all women who do that are thoughtless about it; she insinuated that the same influences are at play for people who *do* automatically buy into both taking husbands' names and not inviting men to baby showers. That's not you, so you're not who she was talking about. It really is that simple.
It's hard not to react emotionally when we read something that is about people kinda similar to ourselves. But I've gained perspective and saved myself some grief by fully thinking through the author's point when I start to feel that reaction. More often than not I realize "This isn't about me!"
"[H]e didn’t transform...by slimming down, bulking up, donning prostheses and voice filters, becoming “unrecognizable.” Rather, he sculpted his characters from the pliant clay of the voice and body he already had, making himself lumbering and clumsy in one role, sinuous and self-contained in the next."
I'm glad she mentioned this. I don't dismiss performances where the actor has made a significant physical change to fit the role, but I do think it is less necessary that many people in Hollywood today seem to think and I have a special appreciation for actors who don't do it. Hoffman simply became his characters from the inside out; your perception of how they looked was shaped by how he played the role, rather than the other way around. Some might say that's "real" acting; I wouldn't go that far, but it is my favorite style and it's a damn shame we've lost one of the best at it.
@Lily Rowan "It's JUST anxiety" (or stress or what have you) is the WORST attitude.
@bowtiesarecool After initially reading this post last night, I wondered the same thing about a diagnostic tool for clinicians. If software like that doesn't already exist, I want to invent it. Like a, not entirely, but sort of, diagnostic TurboTax!
@MissMushkila I didn't touch on that issue in my comment but I just wanted to say that my experience, and that of my women friends and family, is sadly consistent with your story. I don't want to default to being as wary of male docs in the way that the docs in our stories are of us; it's hypocritical to engage in the exact behavior we want them to stop. But this problem is all too common and it needs to be called out and fixed. I just don't know *how* we (society) fix it.
GAAAH I have so much to say on this topic I don't know where to start! Many long stories short, I am very familiar with dismissive docs (one of those involving a doctor telling a teenage girl she had no real knee pain and was just jealous of attention her brother got after his knee surgery...yeah, turns out she has severe osteoarthritis). On the other side of things, I work in health policy and have spent a good bit of time rounding with docs in hospitals, and I've seen how young docs get burned in various ways and why they come to be jaded and skittish about believing patients. But it is simply not acceptable to have a medical system that allows that to happen. The system should be set up to drill down from the most common causes of someone's symptoms to less common to rare, and should include integration of physical and mental health to examine and treat the whole person. Giving up, dismissing patients, accusing people of lying, diagnosing mental health conditions when you are not a mental health practitioner - these are unacceptable behaviors and our system needs to get rid of them. People who are suffering should not have to fight just to be heard. And if psychosomatic symptoms really are THAT common these days, then the system should adjust so that mental health needs take a more primary focus in our overall care delivery (psychs as part of GP practices, for example).
I could go on but I'll stop there.
@dontannoyme I agree that "usen't" sounds far better than the wretched, ghastly "didn't use to." In fact, I sort of like it; in my mind it's a fraternal twin to "needn't" (which I also like, if used sparingly).
But I can think of many workarounds to avoid both, if one is so inclined.
Great, now our employers are going to figure out how to replace sleep with placleepbo so we all can work even more.
That pic is ALL the wins.
I use one called My Days. It's fairly basic but suits my needs...except, I have noticed that when the app's prediction is more than a day off, typcially it's when the predicted start date is 5+ days away from that month's full moon. So I like the app overall, but sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off just downloading a lunar calendar.