I'm from the government and I'm here to gri...help.
"I've always had trouble with delineating an appropriate reaction."
In most instances I think the best thing to do is ignore them so completely that they think you didn't notice/hear them at all. When we talk reaction we always ask ourselves how we can turn the tables so they understand how we feel - vulnerable, insignificant, sub-human. The men who do those things want to get our attention and to wield power over us out of their own feelings of inadequacy and insignificance (just like the school bully). The way I see it, you accomplish both table-turning and stripping them of attention/power by being (or, more likely, effectively pretending to be) unaware the thing happened. "If harassment falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it...." In other words: what's the worst thing you can do to a person who feels inadequate and insignificant? Not even notice they are there.
I could really use a song played by Jupiter's beautiful lucky hands. Galactic Rabbit, you are my favorite.
Personally, I'm a fan of the subtle complexities in Deluding Itself That It's Virgin But Totally Isn't Olive Oil.
Would the universe disappear if someone named Karen makes the I'd Like To See You Do Better Karen Cupcakes?
@Anne That story is delightful, ever more so for being about the album that took a sledgehammer to Janet's asexual image. I was in high school when that was released and I would have been mortified to lend it to my mom at that time, but I doubt I would have even noticed the label!
Sometimes I've thought it would be worthwhile to write down the lies I tell over the course of a day or a week or whatever, but I'm more than a little afraid of the results. The human brain is impressively talented at deluding itself.
This is perfect and makes me so happy.
I wonder if there is a video for the man who hits on you by calling you "sassy." I am not 13, fuckwad.
@adriana UGGGGGGGH. There are few things on this planet that irritate me as much as people who assault you via greetings. It's not polite or civil; it's aggressive and assumes obligation on the part of the other person. The biggest reason I don't punch them is that would be acknowledgement, which is what they want.
@barefoot cuntessa I too was raised Catholic, and while I don't practice or belong to a specific church, I refuse to officially leave the capital-C Church because they have no incentive to change if people like me leave the system. Staying technically Catholic has qualified me to be a godmother, and say yes every time I'm asked. I'm gonna raise me some subversive, feminist, pushy Catholic kids who won't take no for an answer. I'd far rather stay patient and "in" the shitty system, so I can change it when opportunities arise, than leave and let the patriarchy have free reign to turn back the clock even more.
Big fan of The Bletchley Circle. Also, if you can find it on a PBS station somewhere, I recommend the Aussie production "Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries." Feminist flapper socialite becomes a private detective in 1920s Australia, bedding every hot dude she meets along the way to solving murders more efficiently than the police. Lots of focus on women and girls and feminist issues, through the prism of that era. And it is also SO MUCH FUN. The series is based on novels, of which I've read a few - somewhat different but equally enjoyable.
I appreciate her last FAQ on the Cards site about discussing the harassment we face with other people, particularly men. A few weeks ago I was at a party where the hostesses had a catcall story and all of the women joined in with recent tales. The men were shocked at how many stories we had from just the last month or so, and how gross some of them were. These were feminist dudes but they really had no idea what we face on a daily basis. It definitely taught me to tell those stories more...I hadn't really seen a point, before, but I do now. They were having epiphanies as we talked about it.