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Ask Baba Yaga: What to Do About the Fact That I'm a Huge Shithead?

Transcript after the jump.

Dear Baba Yaga,

I recently realized I'm a shitty friend, an apathetic daughter, and a selfish lover. How can I change?

BABA YAGA:

Deep change is unlikely. ; But you may go out to the edge of the pond with the stars below you & the stars above you, & draw down into the ink of yrself where is the feeling, & close yr eyes & bless those who love you anyway even as you are so small. & if you do such-so nightly you will keep the knowledge of who you are, & that will be the beginning of it.

 

 

Previously: "How Will I Know When It's Time to End My Ultimately Doomed Relationship"

Taisia Kitaiskaia is a poet, writer, and Michener Center for Writers fellow. She's taking questions on behalf of Baba Yaga at AskBabaYaga@gmail.com.

Ask Baba Yaga: How Will I Know When It's Time to End My Ultimately Doomed Relationship?

Transcript after the jump.

Dear Baba Yaga,

How can I enjoy my wonderful relationship, knowing that it will eventually end because we want different things in life, and how will I know when it is time to say goodbye and move on to new things, despite the pain?

BABA YAGA:

)By the sea there is always the stinging salt, always the grief of what is to come, but mostly what you know–is unleashed light. But when it starts to grieve everywhere, all at once, & the cold & the blue & then the dark, then that is what you know;.

 

Previously: "I Want All My Friends to Be Forever Friends"

Taisia Kitaiskaia is a poet, writer, and Michener Center for Writers fellow. She's taking questions on behalf of Baba Yaga at AskBabaYaga@gmail.com.

Ask Baba Yaga: Help, I Want All My Friends to Be Forever Friends

Transcript after the jump.

Dear Baba Yaga,

How can I deal with the comings and goings of people?

BABA YAGA:

Each coming is a beautiful assault & each going a griefly one.  In the pond I watch many dartings; & if I were to stand at one end I would be much bereaved. But looking from above it is not to feel sorrow, for all that moves away comes back or arrives to yet another, & movement is what freshens the water. Only when you : are smallest & stillest, with no other but a humanly eye, does each movement cause such pain.

 

Previously: "Have I Become... TOO WISE?"

Taisia Kitaiskaia is a poet, writer, and Michener Center for Writers fellow. She's taking questions on behalf of Baba Yaga at AskBabaYaga@gmail.com.

Ask Baba Yaga: I Recently Had a Personal Revelation But Don't Know What to Do With It

Transcript after the jump.

Dear Baba Yaga,

Some things happened recently that cracked my conceptions of the world and myself wide open. Now I feel the push to do something about it, but I feel like I'm in a blindingly bright room and all I can see is the back of my eyelids. What's a person to do when everything is so illuminated that you can't even see where you're going?

BABA YAGA:

It is not ( the room that is brightest, but yr eyes that have known only darkness. ; Waking up morningly you are sightless first, & then yr eyes grow stronger. After some stumblings, the world around you will show its terrain, & you will see what is to be done.

 

Previously: How Can I Stop Thinking About This One Person I'll Never Actually Get With?

Taisia Kitaiskaia is a poet, writer, and Michener Center for Writers fellow. She's taking questions on behalf of Baba Yaga at AskBabaYaga@gmail.com.

Ask Baba Yaga: How Can I Stop Thinking About This One Person I'll Never Actually Get With?

Transcript after the jump.

Dear Baba Yaga,

How do I stop spending too much time and energy worrying over someone I will probably never be with?

BABA YAGA:

You cannot choose the fly that mucks up yr stew, but you can choose to throw the pot out the window. ;Throw it joyously–then go picking strange & goodly fruits to make a sweet new pot, & let yrself wander free into new gardens & tarry long. You have been too much , forlornly

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Ask Baba Yaga: How Do I Open Up to People About a Recent Crisis That Feels Too Big?

Transcript after the jump.

Dear Baba Yaga,

I went through an incredibly rough couple of months recently, and (mostly) managed to make it out the other side; but now I feel weirdly incapable of talking about my own life. How do I open up to people again after spending so much time alone in my crisis? What would I even share? It seems like all I have inside these days are things that are too small to be worth saying, and things that are much too big to be said.

BABA YAGA:

) After a great famine, what lives inside a house is mice & shadows., & while the house is shut, nothing but scratchings & dooms do walk & dwell. But open the door & other creatures shall ; walk in & fill the rooms, & light eclipse the shadows. & truly it is to know that many houses are near empty without famine, so shame you not.

Previously: "How Can I Be Myself in a Place I Hate?"

Taisia Kitaiskaia is a poet, writer, and Michener Center for Writers fellow. She's taking questions on behalf of Baba Yaga at AskBabaYaga@gmail.com.

Ask Baba Yaga: How Can I Be Myself In a Place That I Hate?

Transcript after the jump.

Dear Baba Yaga,

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Ask Baba Yaga: How Do I Get Over the Shame I Feel For My Work?

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Ask Baba Yaga: How Do I Overcome the Intense Insecurity I Feel Around My Best Friend?

Transcript after the jump.

Dear Baba Yaga,

How I do overcome the intense insecurity I feel around my best friend? Now in our late 20s, we've been friends since middle school and she has always been smarter, funnier, more successful, and more interesting than me. When we are with other people, I feel myself fade into the background. She has always been such a wonderful friend to me, but I've poisoned our friendship with my own self-doubt. Why can't I find my own path?

BABA YAGA:

Every-one of us recedes into the background in the presence of ; another . Yr friend too has moments of murkiness–in a forest, the same tree will look to be behind or in front of another depending on where you stand in the path. ) & yr path is always yr own, so do not search for it tearfully ; & when day turns to night we all stand together in the dark, & the darkness is what we feel most . not who is in front of us or behind.

 

Previously: "Am I Still Friends With a Person If I Don't Respect Her Anymore?"

Taisia Kitaiskaia is a poet, writer, and Michener Center for Writers fellow. She's taking questions on behalf of Baba Yaga at AskBabaYaga@gmail.com.

 

Ask Baba Yaga: Am I Still Friends With a Person If I Don't Respect Her Anymore?

Transcript after the jump.

Dear Baba Yaga,

I have a friend who I've lost respect for. Her negativity, untrustworthiness, passivity, anger, arrogance and refusal to listen have chipped away at me for months to the point where I spend a lot of time talking badly about her to my other friends, fuming and becoming increasingly snide to her. But I know that makes me a terrible friend. I've forgotten why we became friends, although there are quieter "better" moments when we're laughing over a shared interest. What do I do?

BABA YAGA:

The bones ; of yr friendship are buried deep in the silt of the riverbed , & you stand with yr feet in the sludge. )Do not be angry with yrself for getting dirty, as you will only smear more mud all over yr limbs. Perhaps once water rushes through the riverbed fully again, the bones will surface ; but for now, what you stand in is no longer a river.

 

Previously: "I've Got This One Physical Feature That I Fear Makes Me Look Grotesque"

Taisia Kitaiskaia is a poet, writer, and Michener Center for Writers fellow. She's taking questions on behalf of Baba Yaga at AskBabaYaga@gmail.com.