Seriously get an IUD. I've used the patch, the ring, and now I have an IUD. Wall of text forthcoming!
When I started on the patch I was a teenager and my raging hormones were able to conquer the artificial ones, but a few years later I had very little interest in having sex. My doctor suggested I switch to the ring at some point (maybe cause there were some shady results reported for the patch?) which was pretty much the same side-effect wise. Then I broke up with a long-term boyfriend and went off hormones entirely. Almost instantly I wanted to have sex again! So much! This is not perfect science because it turns out I did not actually like the boyfriend very much and that was kind of making me miserable, but I feel like if the hormones had nothing to do with it that I would at least have wanted to have sex with other people, right? I also lost weight when I went off hormones but that's probably because I consumed mostly wine and cheese and crackers for several months after the breakup and somehow that was healthier than how I was eating previously. Also also I was way less depressed but there were obviously confounding factors for that too. So after almost a year off of hormones, I went to see a new doctor that my friend had seen for her IUD, and I had a Mirena placed a few weeks later. (My previous doctor was older and more wary of giving it to someone who hadn't yet had children, which you'll probably hear too.) The installation was the most intense pain I've ever felt, but it only lasted for a fraction of a second so not a big deal overall. It helped to think of it as a tiny glimpse of the labor I don't have to have for at least another 5 years. Afterwards I had really bad cramps for a day or two. I still get cramps after rough sex or extreme exercise or if I have to poop really bad (like I'm a loner, Dottie, I assume my uterus is still saying "And another thing!" 10 months after she's lost the argument). The timing of my period was unpredictable for a few months but has evened out, and the flow is extremely low at this point. The only negative is that my PMS is extremely bad and for several days each month I literally cry every time I have an emotion. Going to see the doctor about that part because I completely love the IUD otherwise!
For anyone who doesn't have time to watch the whole thing right now, the quoted part starts about 18 minutes in. Bookmarking to watch the rest later!
@sophia_236 If it was that easy to find, the publisher should have caught it too. A children's book this popular is bound to be parodied more than once. I think there is room for both books in the universe.
@Dirty Hands I was going to say pretty much the same thing. So good.
This sax cover is fantastic. I want it to be playing in every elevator and grocery store for the rest of my life.
@Miss Maszkerádi This is how I feel about most of your situation: "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."
It doesn't matter anymore how helpful your therapist was at the beginning - he's obviously not helping you anymore. I suggest telling this story to prospective therapists and judging them based on their reaction, to start.
Can I ask why you don't want to find The One For Forever yet?
@Hellcat Ooh good suggestions. You can make donuts! Chips optional. http://www.howsweeteats.com/2014/02/chocolate-frosted-raised-donuts-with-um-crunchy-kettle-potato-chips/
@Hellcat The login problems certainly aren't helping. I'm still here, sort of. Drinkin' wine and eating donuts while browsing OKCupid. Also the cat is here. What else can I do to complete the single woman stereotype?
@jazzloon I miss it too! And I'm not on Twitter. Sometimes I get my fix by reading open threads on Monday (when I have less work) but it's just not the same. Also, last time I had my period I ate nothing but nachos for the entire weekend and justified it as healthy by adding a whole bell pepper to each batch. Try it!
@jazzloon I think they went to The Toast. I dropped out entirely because it got too spammy here plus I actually have enough work to do on Friday afternoons now.