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By dabbyfanny on Here Is a Two-Headed Turtle Named Thelma and Louise

I guess it's safe enough to call a turtle Thelma and Louise. A two- headed lemming, on the other hand...

Posted on June 27, 2013 at 3:51 pm 1

By stonefruit on Why Did You Lose Him?

@TheBelleWitch So what you need to do is find something shiny or sparkly, and then put it inside a hollow tree trunk that's fallen down. Then you drill a smallish hole, it helps if you bend nails over the hole, that'll make it about the right size. When he comes by he'll see the shiny thing and grab it, but then he'll be trapped because he'll refuse to open up his fist and lose the shiny thing.

... no, that's raccoons in the Ozarks.

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 3:41 pm 13

By Slutface on Why Did You Lose Him?

His leash slipped out of my hands.

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 12:33 pm 14

By Ophelia on Why Did You Lose Him?

@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose Build a weir in the nearest river, and then coax him into the water using a large inner tube and beer. As he comes through the weir...no wait, that's eels.

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 12:21 pm 32

By Lili B. on Why Did You Lose Him?

@fondue with cheddar they're good at clawing those collars off with their feet.

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 11:50 am 16

By hallelujah on Why Did You Lose Him?

Winter boyfriends only have a four month lifespan.

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 11:46 am 18

By Sea Ermine on Why Did You Lose Him?

Why did I lose him? I dropped my hairpin too close to his cage and he picked the lock while I was napping.

Posted on May 23, 2013 at 11:46 am 16

By LeafySeaDragon on On Second Chances

@datalass 'crazy for you' by jennifer crusie is really great because it shows the evolution from bf to stalker-crazie.

yes, once again i have worked jennifer crusie into the conversation!

Posted on May 8, 2012 at 5:10 pm 2

By Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse on The League of Ordinary Ladies: Girl What's Your Thing

oh my god, where do I even START with my Things.

Posted on December 19, 2011 at 6:25 pm 8

By thebestjasmine on Grading Gadgety Gift Guides for Guys

Isn't buying someone an ax for a gift the first act in a play where they bury the ax in your head in the final act?

Posted on November 10, 2011 at 1:15 pm 3