On What Happened When We Gave Our Daughter My Last Name

@Jia Tolentino Ha! Whenever people try that old canard, "why keep the name of a man you didn't choose instead of taking the name of a man you did choose," I yell "I CHOOSE ME!" But seriously, I do choose me! My last name is not just the name of my father and his father and so forth - it's one I happen to like, and it's one I've been living in for the past 26 years. It's mine now. They say when you give a gift, you no longer have any say over what happens to the gift - my name was a gift and I can do whatever I please with it.

Posted on July 15, 2014 at 3:43 pm 2

On Spin, Measure, Cut: Hobby Lobby and the Tangled Skein of Reproductive Rights

@de Pizan Yeah, it's pretty clearly a case of them bristling at government intervention more than anything - now it's the state telling them what they can and can't do, and they've decided that sticking up for their religious rights (which are arguably not infringed upon) is more important than caring for their neighbors, so to speak. You know, Bible stuff.

Posted on June 13, 2014 at 1:51 pm 0

On The Unsexy Pie

Meanwhile, men get their Viagra at least partly covered by insurance because they are SO GOOD at controlling their libidos that they are OWED medical intervention, by golly.

Posted on January 24, 2014 at 2:13 pm 2

On Dating Profiles, Edited for Honesty

Occupation: aspiring professional TV watcher; not critic, just a watcher.

Body type: curvy in a way that is true in both the literal and euphemistic sense.

About me: I am intensely curious and have many plans but have little follow-through. My kitchen cupboards are full of arrowroot, flax meal, and chia seeds, but I will get McDonald's drive-through whenever I feel like it because it doesn't count if I eat it in the car. I genuinely like whiskey, although I only started to drink it because I thought it would impress guys and hard femmes. I am 100% convinced that Choupette and I were supernaturally switched at birth. The ending of "Homeward Bound" never fails to make me ugly-cry, even if I'm only thinking about it.

Posted on January 23, 2014 at 12:53 pm 0

On Let's Play a Little Game Called "Bad Tab, Good Tab"

What blows my mind about this is that with any other crime, justice is still sought for the victim regardless of their actions leading up to the crime (with unfortunate differences in the intensity of the investigation due to factors of race, income, etc, but let's put that aside for the moment).

If I get murdered, the police will investigate, even if I was walking in a bad neighbourhood after dark. If someone robs my house, the police will still investigate, even if I left my door unlocked. If someone empties my bank account, the police will still investigate, even if I gave my debit card number to a shady Craigslist poster. So why the fuck would the police not investigate a rape even if the victim was drunk? There are certainly things you can do to guard your safety, and not getting blackout drunk is one of them, but it doesn't matter if I never leave my house after dark, or lock all my doors, or never give out my debit card number - sometimes shit still happens and every victim deserves the same consideration.

Posted on October 16, 2013 at 4:29 pm 20

On Let's Play a Little Game Called "Bad Tab, Good Tab"

@Don'tcallmeJenny I vehemently disagree with her, but insulting her body because you think her opinions are disgusting is uncalled for.

Posted on October 16, 2013 at 4:16 pm 5

On Nazi Bride School in the '30s: "Women must be the spiritual caregivers and the secret queens of our people"

@Sea Ermine That's really interesting, thanks! I was definitely under the impression that all those countries with progressive laws did it because their ideas of government and social structure were in alignment - it really didn't occur to me that the official law of the land might not match up with the unofficial laws of social interaction/approval/etc.

Posted on September 30, 2013 at 2:43 pm 0

On Nazi Bride School in the '30s: "Women must be the spiritual caregivers and the secret queens of our people"

Even today, the German “Hausfrau” is celebrated, and women looked down upon as Rabenmütter, or raven mothers, when they try to balance work with children—black birds that push chicks out of their nest. Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is a woman, but many call it less than incidental that she is not a mother. The BBC reported in 2011 that no more than 2.2 per cent of senior management jobs at top German companies are held by women.

I found that rather striking - Germany is one of those countries that's often held up as a model of how the state should support women who have children with generous leave policies, financial support, etc; I never considered, though, that it might not be as progressive as it sounds, and might actually be a sneaky way of encouraging women to "stay in their place"? Any German ex-pats, or current residents able to attest to the general tone of this discussion over there?

Posted on September 30, 2013 at 11:54 am 1

On Interview with Dr. Susan Robinson, One of the Last Four Doctors in America to Openly Provide Third-Trimester Abortions

@laurel I think it was in the NY Times, and I believe the Hairpin linked to it at one point, but there was a piece by a woman who chose with her husband to have a late-term abortion due to fetal abnormality - and part of their reasoning to do that, rather than give birth, was that they wanted their child to die in a place that was warm and familiar and full of love. And I'm crying a little bit now, because I can't imagine finding a single moment of grace in the midst of such a horrendous decision, but I think that's maybe it.

Posted on September 20, 2013 at 3:34 pm 22

On Which Name Is Weirder, Saxby Chambliss or Barkevious Mingo? The Answer May Tell You Whether or Not You're Racist

@bevrockin My grandmother was an OBGYN nurse and claims she once had a patient who named her daughter "Female," pronounced "fe-mal-ee," because "that's what was on her wrist-bracelet."

My favorite unsubstantiated weird name is "Y'all Jealous Jones."

Posted on September 20, 2013 at 1:14 pm 0