YES, thank you, LW1. This is me with my (otherwise lovely!) boyfriend who I’ve lived with for about 5 months now. He isn’t as bad as what’s described, but it still drives me crazy. He’ll help clean in situations where it would clearly be unfair for me to do everything (like if I’ve cooked a big dinner, he’ll help with the dishes), but he never cleans up the dishes he uses by himself and would never think to clean the bathroom/anything else.
I know I enable him to some degree-- he makes A LOT more money than I do, and ends up paying a larger portion of shared costs. We’ve talked EXTENSIVELY about this, and he’s made it very clear that he’s okay with our arrangement. But I still feel the need to make up for what I’m not contributing money-wise, so I grit my teeth and clean up after him.
My worry is also the “if we have kids in the future, am I’m going to have to do everything?” thing. I will try some of these techniques, BUT IT SEEMS RIDICULOUS TO HAVE TO TRAIN SOMEONE OVER 30 TO CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES. Boys suck.
"The Yellow Wallpaper" was probably my favorite piece of writing I had to read in high school. Why don't people love short stories more?!? They are like the youtube of literature-- perfect for those of us with short attention spans.
Biggest motivating factor that gets me to the gym these days: $80/month is a lot to waste.
Also, on the cardio machines I can watch bad TV without my boyfriend judging me (Breaking Amish!) AND not feel as guilty about the extra glass(es) of wine I drank the night before!
@terrific Argh indeed. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and we moved in together this summer, so this is the first holiday season things are kind of Actually Really Serious and we thought it would be nice to spend at least part of the holidays together. His family lives really close to us, while my family is on the other side of the country. This year, I'm spending Thanksgiving with his family, and he's coming out to see my family for few days after Christmas (he didn't have the patience to deal with his mom's potential wrath for not spending Actual Christmas with them).
I think it just ends up sucking more for the person who lives further away from their family, because it's hard to win the argument of whose family to see when one choice is so much more convenient. BUT in my situation, we see his family throughout the year fairly often because they are so nearby, and since he's only met my parents once and they're DYING to get to know him better, it didn't take much convincing.
@love and other indoor sports Yes! Me too! There are few things I love as much as I love Barnard.
@The Everpresent Wordsnatcher I just started Seasonique! I was on Ortho for a while with not-terrible periods, but then I finally paid attention to one of those commercials and realized how lovely it would be to only have a period every three months. My gyno said the large majority of her patients that are on it are very happy with it. There was a bit of spotting after the first month, but since then, none. I recommend it, more sexy time without even having to think about the clean-up.
LW1: If you're having fun naked time with someone for the first time, something that quells anxiety about body issues for me is to turn the lights off and/or light yourself a nice sexy candle, at least at first! Not that anyone should have to hide their body from who they're fucking, but I know it's a lot easier for me to get off if I'm not worrying if he is staring at my bacne, cellulite, or flabby stomach (I know these things are normal blah blah and fuck him if he actually cares about these kind of body imperfections, but if these things don't enter my mind and all I'm thinking about is how awesome whatever he's doing is, GREAT). This is especially true if if this person is someone I've only been on a couple dates with, because generally I don't have the confidence to rip my clothes off and bare everything in front of someone I've probably spent <6 hours with total. If sexy time turns into a real relationship he's going to see you naked in bright, unflattering light at some point (because yay shower sex!), but it might be easier to ease into the whole OMG I'M SO NAKED IN FRONT OF THIS PERSON'S EYES thing gradually. Also, everyone looks good in candlelight.
Once I opened my window to shoo away the collective of pigeons that had gathered nearby. I should have realized that NYC pigeons are a NUTSO breed that aren't a bit afraid of human shooing. One flew in my room a la Friends (the one where a pigeon flies into the apartment when Rachel is home alone in the kitchen) and retreated into a corner. I was all OHMYGOD I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU BUT GET THE FUCK OUT, and EW THE GERMS. So I recalled how Rachel handled the incident and followed her lead using a big pot and a notebook, and it worked! Thank you Friends, for among other things, teaching me how to deal with rogue pigeons that fly in my room.
Ohhh she's so great. What a wonderful first lady.
I thought the same thing until I tried something other than Martini and Rossi (which tastes like perfume!). Look for Dolin- it's a world of difference.