On Let's Talk a Bit About the Woman Who Regrets Her Kids

Hmmm, I didn't want to read it and yet I had to after reading all the comments. Darn you, Daily Mail.
This brings up lots of complicated emotions for me. I love my two little guys, but I was never someone who absolutely dreamed of being a mother or felt like having children was something I "had to do."
It did take a while for me to bond with them. And being a parent is hard sometimes and complicated most of the time. There are definitely times I wish for more me time or wish they could grow up a little faster or not need me quite so much.
And I tell every woman who is thinking about children honestly that it is hard at times (people who tell you otherwise are trying to sell you something) and if you're not sure there is nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with not having children. Thank you, modern medicine.
There's nothing wrong with having them either, if it's what you want.
One of my guys is also a special needs guy and may live with us forever. I was thinking the other day about some of my "dreams deferred" might turn out to be "dreams never to be" because of this. But you know what? That's life. Every life has surprises and twists and turns, if you have kids or not.
So mixed feelings and not always super loving being a mom? I get that.
But regret they were born? Never. I would step in front of a bullet for either one and I do love them more every day.
Taking it on face value (for discussion's sake) and assuming that this is what she intended to write and not the Daily Mail's pandering for links, I do feel more sorry for her than disgust. It does seem somewhat generational too, as echoed above. I get it can be therapy to super brutal and honest sometimes, but it is a short term fix. I think maybe some therapy could have helped resolve a lot of this in a better way.

Posted on April 8, 2013 at 3:34 pm 2

On "Savaging Primitives"

I don't know if Diamond is right or wrong about anything, but anyone who starts saying one culture is "better" than another gets the side eye from me.
I listened to an interview where he had lots of
opinions on how mothers should raise their children. Not impressed.

Posted on February 7, 2013 at 2:38 pm 0

On Boyfriends' Mothers, "Compassion," and Les Misérables

LW3, it can be tough to watch friends make crazy life decisions, but it take it from a reformed advice giver, don't say anything unless abuse or hard drugs are involved. The 20s are the best times to make crazy mistakes and bounce back wiser. Also, I am just going to throw out there that grad school can be kind of stressful and intense and affects everyone's decision making. Maybe some of your friends are realizing grad school isn't for them. Maybe you'll come to realize these friends are too crazy impulsive and you need calmer friends. If you bite your tongue, hopefully you can drift away without drama and cherish fond memories of each other. I am someone that didn't do that and saw a fading friendship star explode into a huge drama nova. Maybe it's none of the above. Take heart I think everyone (including you, ) will all have much better perspective after you graduate.

Posted on January 25, 2013 at 9:34 pm 1