@Hiroine Protagonist As it got more uncomfortable, I started hoping it was written my melis. There could be a paragraph missing where she goes home and [does something sinister to her mister, and/or hotdog=penis joke] then she reveals she's pregnant. Plausible?
Edited: somehow my comment lost the melis-twist part. Retry.
The way these work, right, is I pick poems that are in Poetry, and then ask my person at Poetry to ask the poet if they don't mind being on the Hairpin, and usually my person is all "you can use that one," but this time she said "Jamaal May ENTHUSIASTICALLY ACCEPTS," so, Jamaal is basically a Pinner now, I think. Thanks, Jamaal! Your poems are great and you are super-hot.