@readsonly I agree. What's she's describing sounds like... a hobby. Something that's hard work, and something that other people get enjoyment from, but still a hobby. And then if you start to get paid for it, we have another word for that, which is a job. Doing something productive and time consuming purely because you enjoy it and/or think it will further your career is not the same as doing something because it HAS to be done and you're the only one who will/can do it.
Where did I suggest that anyone ignore their own boundaries? Nowhere that I can see. If you read to the end of my comment, you'll see that everything I suggest is compatible with still never having PIV if she decides not to.
She can do whatever she wants, and she can tell her partners whatever she wants, but I maintain that being open minded is always a good thing. If anyone knows that sexual preferences can change over time, it's this woman.
Welp, I had a comment mostly typed up, but then I came back from lunch and the site had logged me out. I can never seem to stay logged in for more than a day or two (not a problem I have with any other site), but this is a newly aggressive level of not being able to maintain a session.
I think the crux of my comment for LW4 was: imagine you have a partner who finds a sexual act you really enjoy (say, oral sex) "intrusive, weird, mildly painful, and boring" and approach your feelings on PIV like you'd like them to approach that. I can't say what that will look like for you, or how your male partners will feel, but if it were me I'd be looking for someone who was willing to explore and address any medical issues, keep and open mind, and maintain a willingness to at least consider spending three to seven minutes doing something they find a little boring if I'm really into it. I think those things will take you a long way, even if you end up still not wanting to ever have PIV.
What is it about this medium that makes people make such... strange decisions? I was texting a guy I've been seeing (and sleeping with!) last night, and after I mentioned playing with my cats, he alluded to the fact that he could make a dirty pun about it, and then apologized twice for sending me "suggestive" texts in case I wasn't into that. Twice! Someone I've slept with!
I don't think I've ever been with a guy with a REALLY big dick (probably for the best?), but I did once sleep with a guy with huge balls. Just enormous. He said a worried gf once made him go to the doctor, who told him he was fine, but "in the 99th percentile". So if you want to do a follow up interview, I know a guy.
I downloaded it (ironically!), and only had three rated friends, each with one rating. One of them was definitely in jest, and one has been in a long term relationship since before the app existed. Because raters can only pick from a pre-defined list of superlatives, it's basically impossible to tell if a rating is tongue-in-cheek, especially if it's someone you don't know well. I don't have very many facebook friends though, and most of them are out of college (and not idiots, I hope?). I also (ironically!) tried to look up some guys I've gone out with recently and couldn't find them at all. I DID get shown a lot of guys I've never seen in my life though. In conclusion, I think this would only have any "value" if you're a facebook power user and like to date guys with very earnest friends and exes.
@stuffisthings Please, please let "beta eyes" mean "wears glasses" and not like, "has kindly looking eyes". I want so much for PUAs (failed PUAs, whatever) to believe in their heart of hearts that women despise poor eyesight as a sign of weakness.
@tales I didn't have a lot of the problems other people did with this piece, but that did strike me! Even ignoring the grotesque part, if you think women don't engage in pube twisting, you don't know much about women.
Jezebel first appeared on my radar through another site I frequent, where it's constantly derided for being faux feminist, so I've always had a bias that prevented me from getting into it.
BUT I got my first apartment in New York via Jezebel in a roundabout way, and I once went to a clothing swap at their office where I acquired a sheer leopard print bra with rhinestones. So those are my thoughts on Jezebel.
@queenofbithynia Just to be clear: the only people Jia was "reserving judgment" of was women who might potentially feel safer wearing this. That's who you're judging.