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On "The Manic Pixie Dream Cut"

I loved my short hair. My skull has a beautiful shape to it, and it suits my weirdly-proportioned features very well.

Sadly, I live in the land of the $85 haircut, and constant upkeep is the only way to keep a pixie looking cute. Hence, I can never go short again. :(

Posted on March 1, 2013 at 3:12 pm 0

On The Fake Boyfriend Pie

My boyfriend? You've never met him. He lives in Niagara Falls.

Posted on January 31, 2013 at 12:00 am 4

On Sex vs. Happiness

@Slutface "Oh baby, your dust bunnies and moldy dishes are getting me soo hoooot."

Posted on January 30, 2013 at 11:22 am 4

On You Thought Framing Was Expensive

When I was a little girl I dreamed of having an extensive collection of beautiful art. Then I figured out how much beautiful art (like this) costs.

Now I just have an extensive selection of art reproduction tattoos.

Posted on January 29, 2013 at 4:33 pm 3

On Unnecessarily Cruel Identifiers for Upcoming Trend Pieces

Ishmaeline, whose nail beds are torn and caked in blood from a shoddy attempt at an at-home manicure, would rather spend her day anxiously waiting for the internet to get interesting than send a couple of damned emails.

Posted on January 28, 2013 at 3:46 pm 4

On "The January Cure"

I signed up for it and was doing good until they told me to clean my floors. Lovingly, at that.

I'll keep my hovel.

Posted on January 8, 2013 at 1:46 pm 4

On Scandals of Classic Hollywood: The Most Wicked Face of Theda Bara

@Ophelia That would be me.

Posted on January 8, 2013 at 1:32 pm 24