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On Selective Empathy and "An Outlet for Maternal Feelings"

@LolaMoco My parents didn't get divorced until I was an adult--they announced they were going to every year or two, but never followed through until I was in my early twenties. Every single day growing up was a hell of shouting and fighting and cruelty and meanness. I used to love when my dad went on business trips because it meant there was at least a small chance I'd be able to get through a day without having to be in the middle of a screaming match (unless one of us kids set my mom off, which happened a lot).

I very much wish they had divorced when I was young. Not only because my childhood would have been easier, but also because it would have been socially acceptable for me to be sad about it, whereas now it feels childish to express any grief/anger about my parents' terrible marriage. Years after their divorce, I find myself, for the first time, having thoughts like "Why couldn't mommy and daddy just love each other?!" that I would like to have processed when I was a kid!

Not to mention all the fucked up messages I absorbed about love and relationships.

Just...divorce really is the best option for the kids sometimes.

Posted on January 5, 2013 at 5:06 am 1