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On Nice to Meet You, Internet

@Banana Stand Money This is relevant to your interests: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jblr6czZRm0

(If you're wondering it's the "Barbie Beauty Styler" theme song.)

Posted on August 17, 2013 at 3:23 am 0

On Friday Open Thread

@daisicles My Revlon top coat works really well...it was probably $6.99 or so. I also just learned if you put a stronger polish on as the first coat, then use the cheapie on top, your nails will last longer. (I used a neutral white/cream color then put my light pink on top).

Posted on August 16, 2013 at 8:58 pm 0

On A Chat with Mikki Kendall and Flavia Dzodan About #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen

I'm so excited to read this here! I've been a fan of Mikki since way back, on SWPD, Ankhesen and Witchsistah's blogs, etc., and I'm glad to see the Hairpin centering the voices of these two women.

Posted on August 16, 2013 at 8:35 pm 3

On A Chat with Mikki Kendall and Flavia Dzodan About #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen

@wee_ramekin I'm still here. :-) My notifications still aren't working, so I never know when to come back to the thread, but I'm down (and will check in more frequently!).

Posted on August 16, 2013 at 8:31 pm 0

On #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen

@wee_ramekin I think what you said makes a lot of sense--your "equal pay" example is a good one! At this point though, I think there needs to be a first step of even acknowledging and centering viewpoints of WOC. So often white feminist bloggers are like, "I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing." It'd be much more intersectional to say, "I don't know what to say, so I asked/read [insert WOC, trans*, disabled blogger] and learned _____."

Posted on August 14, 2013 at 7:48 pm 2

On #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen

@wee_ramekin I'll join in. One of the central failures of mainstream feminism is that white women tend to center their oppression while ignoring their privilege. So, for example, a conversation about Oscar nominations might point out the one or two women nominated without mentioning that those women are white, and that it's not "groundbreaking" for the majority of the world's women. Similarly, lots of the work around sex, birth, and bodily autonomy fails to recognize that some of us don't even have the privilege to be recognized as good, capable mothers. And when these flaws are pointed out, instead of recognizing that one can be simultaneously oppressed and privileged, WOC and other marginalized groups are told to "not be divisive", "wait your turn", and other crap that suggests we are foot soldiers in a white womens' movement.

Several prominent womanist bloggers have suggested that the purpose of mainstream feminism is for white women to join white men at the top of the heap. More often than not, that's a fair assessment.

Posted on August 13, 2013 at 11:58 pm 7

On Friday Open Thread

@mystique Yes! Last week I was too late, and since notifications aren't working I couldn't get back to the thread.

My fiancé and I met on a blog. People always ask, "What kind of blog?", and it's kind of embarrassing because it was just a regular personal blog. It's not like we had a mutual interest or hobby, but according to him, he was smitten after I schooled him in a post on white privilege (he's white, I'm black). That was March of 2009, but we didn't have a "thing" until September of the same year. He started e-flirting with me, which led to talking on the phone, Skype, etc. Finally, he asked me to come visit (I was in the Midwest, he was in San Francisco) during winter break, and we fell in luv after a whopping 10 days together. We ended up dating long distance for a full year, then I moved to SF after graduating college. Eight-ish months later, I moved to Oakland for work, and we moved in together 3 months later. Now we're planning our (interracial, interfaith) wedding for next year.

Even though it worked out well for us, I'm Miss Practical at heart, so I tell all of my friends, "Don't try this at home!" This being flying cross-country to meet someone you met on a blog. :-)

**Forgot to answer the "Did you just know?" question! I'd say yes. In fact, when he asked me to visit him, it almost didn't happen, because we wanted different things in life. I knew given the distance and time that it wouldn't work as just a "date-and-see", so I told him I didn't think I could date someone who was anti-marriage/kids. Fortunately he compromised and it worked out between us, but I don't think that would've happened if there hadn't been *something* there.

Posted on August 10, 2013 at 2:30 am 3

On Friday Open Thread

@mystique My fiancé and I met on a blog. We were both in college, 2000 miles apart, I wrote a scathing takedown of his denial of white privilege, and he was smitten. :-)

He invited me to visit over winter break (luckily he wasnt a serial killer), and we decided to do long distance after spending a whopping 10 days together. Fast forward to now--we've been together a little over 3.5 years, got engaged in May, and are getting married next March!

Posted on July 27, 2013 at 12:04 am 1

On Who Invited This Guy

@Pariah Carey

Same. For our wedding next March, my fiancé and I are having a best man (his brother) and a matron of honor (my mom) and that's it. I have 6 sisters, plus a cousin who's like a sister, and I was just like "Nope." Plus having 12 people stand up there would account for 20-25% of our wedding guests!

Posted on May 30, 2013 at 12:51 pm 1

On Friday Open Thread

@owlegg I read this as, "Sorry about the blow job." TGIF!

Posted on April 13, 2013 at 2:06 am 2