@stonefruit See I maintain that the Emily books are what Anne wrote when she grew up and we didn't see her as much because we thought, sadly, she was subsumed by her marriage/domesticity. It shows how much she's grown up in her realistic treatment of the world, but she still has her beautiful dark-haired, violet-eyed, slow-smiling heroine (what she always builds as her ideal!) who gets weird fluttery headaches.
@sherbert et al., much of my ire came from how little she respected and understood these characters. My feathers aren't ruffled if you have a different opinion, as long as you feel love/warmth for them. Emily and Anne factions CAN come together, I think.
I'm surprised by the rancor this list inspired in me, but there you have it. (And Scout being somewhere in the middle and this 'kids don't identify with Lyra' shite. Ugh!)
AND SARA CREWE IS A PRINCESS ON THE INSIDE AND DESERVES TO BE HIGHER
EMILY OF NEW MOON RANKED AS HIGHER THAN ANNE? BULLSHIT.
@yeah-elle Ok so I'm sure there are lots of great "the worst thing that happens is that you continue not dating and there's a little awkwardness but now you can move on" pieces of advice but my personal story is:
It's super sexy asking guys out! I made the first move (physically and then later emoshunally) on my current man, and generally we fall into him being more dominant/sexually aggressive but not always, and it's super great for both of us to have this nugget of "I was so into him I couldn't wait around."
Not that anyone here needs any reminder that traditional gender roles are utter bullshit, but
@Inkling I don't think he's an objectively terrible juicebox, but he was inconsiderate and even if he's dealing with super-confusion, you're not responsible for working him through it. I don't think you should talk to him again unless you want to.
Edited to be less curt.
@OhMyGoshYouGuys Oops I totally ignored your set-up. Do it tomorrow, first thing. Say you've been thinking since your conversation and you just don't think it's right. Go go go go. (If you want.)
@OhMyGoshYouGuys I had a similar quandary (except more like 4 year relationship!) and posed a similar question to the Pin and the responses were so helpful and bumped my "I should do this ughh" to "I should do this now" and it was terrible, obviously, but also so so so right. And it was awesome being single and having friends with benefits and then despite my firm intentions I kind of fell in love!
ETA: wow that wasn't helpful. Just I think the wavering around it can be obvious and it is so hurtful to feel like you've been dragged along by someone's sense of pity or something, so once you've been having these thoughts, sooner is better than later. It doesn't get easier.
I'd say aim for not spending a few days together--because not dragging it out is good but the 'what we just had sex last night!' is also terrible--and then call and say you wanted to come over for a talk. Be kind and don't offer excuses or explanations. Also, say that you are interested in being friends in the future and leave it at that. (The "I hope we can be friends when you're ready" can sound patronizing.)
@Quinn A@twitter prettttyyyyyyyy!!!!!
that's about as helpful as I'm capable of being.