On The First Holiday Negotiating In-Law (or Almost-In-Law) Needs and Wants

@rimy Yes! My BF HATES the whole Xmas thing, and I still haven't figured out what to do. The issue is that December 25th is also his birthday, and he never gets to spend it the way he wants (quietly at home with a utter lack of fuss). He's repeatedly expressed his preferences to his (split-up) parents, but both his mom and stepmom are fuss-loving Christmasists of the highest order and WANT EVERYONE THERE TO CELEBRATE. Negotiating the dynamics of his two families, to say nothing of my own, is predictably complicated and stress-inducing, but the knowledge that my sweetie is miserable the whole time makes it basically impossible for me to enjoy this time of year. Your "lovely, cozy, warm, & loving little Christmas for the two of us" sounds utterly lovely to me, but I fear he'd hate even that much, and I'd be just as bad as his moms for not respecting his wishes on what is, after all, his day. He's certainly more important to me than the holiday, but can't I just have some mulled wine and Handel and the smell of fir without feeling disloyal?

Posted on November 20, 2012 at 6:03 pm 0