On Less Coherent Than Santorum!
I take my ice cream like I take my men: chocolate with big nuts.
I'm here all day people.
1
On Less Coherent Than Santorum!
My favorite flavor of ice cream: penis. But maybe I could change.
6
On Living Together, Cheating Compulsions, and Marriage Smoke Signals
@thatsrealbutter I got botox injections for migraines. You get them in your cervical spine/neck area. I had to buy a whole vial through my pharmacy and bring it in a cooler to my neurologist's office. There was a ton leftover so I had him inject some into my forehead too, just for the hell of it, so I could feel rich and fancy. (Didn't work for me, by the way. I wouldn't recommend it. My neck felt all wobbly and sore and it didn't make the migraines go away.)
0
On Were You Alive In…
@kayjay Me too! Right before they got long enough to pull back, my bangs were 4 inches tall. I know this because I measured them with a ruler. I am not joking. I have not had bangs since.
1
On 16 First and Middle Names of Babies on 16 and Pregnant, in Order of How Much I Spit Out My Drink When They Were Revealed
@parallel-lines Your Designer Imposter Parfums reference is the best thing I have read today, and I've read a lot of funny things today. Lordy. I laughed really loud. So awesome. Thank you.
1
On The Best Time I Got a Shrink-Wrapped T-Shirt and Thought It Was a Ring
My husband proposed to me pretty lamely. He's not very romantic. He is also not at all douchey and would never do something like this. Ever. When he gets home in 20 minutes, I am going to hug him so hard and quit being a dick about him not being more romantic.
Oh, and you need to dump this guy pronto. Even if he looks like Brad Pitt and has a trust fund. You must. Be sure to, in the process, sincerely thank him for not actually proposing and tell him it's the best gift he could have given you.
6
On Were You Alive In…
@dracula's ghost Yes! My friend Kristy was a year older than me and when I visited her at college her freshman year, she tried to explain "email" to me and it sounded so hip and exotic and I fell in love with college right then and there.
0
On Were You Alive In…
I was a sophomore in college in 1995 and I clearly remember my friend Ryan showing me The Internet for the first time. I was all, "Meh."
2
On Make Your Own Pleasant-Smelling Natural Insect Repellent
@ilikemints I take 2 anti-seizure meds and I still get bit to hell, so maybe they (Dad and boyfriend) just aren't tasty?
0
On Ask a Clean Person: Why Haven't You Gotten Rid of Your Cats Yet?
@saythatscool Oh my God that cracked my shit up. Like, I literally couldn't finish reading the paragraph because I was laughing so hard. So, thanks for that.
(I have a small male MinPin, so yeah. Tears streaming down my face.)