@maebytonight @nevergiveaninch @chevyvan Hugs to you all & @Maladydee that is fantastic advice and so I want to hug you and seek your advice when I am heartbroken which I often am, a little bit.
@Okhate Hi, because I get anxious not knowing where I stand as a dater:
I'd text back and say thanks, that you were glad to meet them but realised it won't work out romantically, wish them all the best, and then your work there is done.
@chevyvan @supfreckles I second this. Believe him.
He has seen sh*t get real, and does not want in, for whatever reason.
You sound great and I'm sure whatever snide thing you sent was really no big deal. And you've apologised. That's what adults do.
You're fine. There are many men and women out there who know that depression and anxiety and other things, too, come and go, and don't define you, and they are totally cool about that.
It's totally fine if you want to keep living there, sometimes having certainty over shelter is more important than who you share it with when you've got bigger fish to fry, and it sounds like you have enough space not to be in each other's faces if you need to stay there/can't manage moving while dealing with this event.
Big, big internet hugs. You are awesome and you're going to be great.
@Jinxie I am not a spider but I would like to join your spider army. I have just quit online dating again. Sometimes, it's no good for me mentally. I have met some ok dudes, one horrible worst-experience of my life dude and one lovely dude who never got back to me after the first date ooooouuuuccccchhh that was very recent.
Also, it was a bit soul-destroying getting hit on by reallllyyyy older dudes, and not dudes my age except for people who I would avoid like the plague in real life.
Damn you red-bearded brown-haired, super-tall, not skinny, funny nice, ancient history studying, gardening with 2 cats guy, you've disappointed meeeeeeeeee.
I'm sad at the moment.
Also, be honest but try to be philosophical in your attitude to the dating itself. I learnt a lot, and likely leveled up on some relationship skills, but it breaks your heart for real sometimes, and it also gets horrible sometimes and I truly mean that, in the near sexual-assault way raised by @blueberry mary above.
I also echo @RNL's advice on profile-writing being about selling you.
To echo @blueberry mary, don't mind me, I am also getting increasingly frustrated.
@sydwi Maybe an audiobook or podcast on the way there - I find if my brain gets legitimately distracted from my anxiety, I'm on a winner, and something that makes you think about something else, like a book or funny radio show might help :) Good luck!
@Madeline Shoes Sorry to hear all of this, it sounds really worrying for you. Yay for your lovely boyfriend, it is good that he is a decent guy.
What does your Dad think about all this?
I have seen (through professional stuff) people heading into a period of mental crisis, and often they are pretty normal, but start holding one or two delusional beliefs...is the cheating thing one of these?
I'm not from the same country as you, I don't think, and I don't know how this stuff works where you live.
However, here, we have crisis teams, we have involuntary treatment orders and things like that where people stay in the community and get some treatment. I know that might sound extreme, but as an outsider, I think that raging at you and saying that she is suicidal is pretty extreme, and it might be at that point where, temporarily, she has lost the capacity to make good decisions for herself.
Also, as a side point that may or may not be relevant - mania is sometimes expressed as irritability, outbursts etc, and not as what we imagine to be high-energy euphoria.
Anyway, good luck, and I am just saying that to an absolute outsider, maybe this needs to be looked at as a medical issue/mental health issue and taken outside outside of the sphere where social remedies like being nice, listening, being reasonable are expected to be enough.
Sorry if that sounds at all harsh, and good luck - you sound like you are a very patient, caring and kind person, and you are obviously very thoughtful. I think this sounds like a problem that has to be passed to professionals, and not kept on your shoulders.
Big hugs xxx
@iceberg Poor Mr Iceberg! He's a good man. Hope you're all ok, I know it was ages ago, but that's rough to experience.
@blueberry mary Everyone's answers are great. Mine is more general - if you find yourself asking people if you're crazy/oversensitive for thinking something, you probably aren't. If it jars you that much that you want to ask other people to check if you are in the wrong, listen to the unease and just run with that.
@Briony Fields You had me at Jon Snow
@Statham I also had non-stuffed animals - i.e. hard plastic toys, and a shoebox that I may or may not have had an imaginary shoe-box dog sleeping in.