@crane your neck I just finished my PhD, and my partner was awesome, but it was brutal. My dissertation was my primary partner for 9 months, and my girlfriend just had to deal with that.
I would recommend scheduling relationship time quite explicitly, b/c grad school can (and kind of has to) be done 24/7, so you need to carve out your time and name it. You're going to play a role in making them have balance in their life - it's important to see humans and do exercise even while in grad school! Make sure you have your own exciting hobbies too, and accept "sitting quietly in the same room working on different projects" as a fun way to spend time together.
I've also heard of couples setting rules, like, how long will you accept a partner in grad school? If their dissertation takes five years to write, is that okay? Ten?
Sorry to be melodramatic. I am a little bitter. :/
@Megasus pro tip: stay til the very end - when i saw her she snuck out after most people had left and gave away a painting she'd done. :)
@Megasus i saw janelle monae by myself (i'd just moved to winnipeg and knew few people) and it was awesome. in fact, i was glad that i wasn't distracted by having a friend there so i could focus on her amazing dancing, singing, band, outfits, etc.
@highfivesforall when i was a waitress (at a mexican restaurant) we used to play johnny cash very loudly when we wanted the customers to leave.
@missupright @thebestjasmine @iceberg @Daisy Razor
Yes, I agree! I have a friend who was adopted and she and her (adoptive) mum are strikingly similar. Her boyfriend points and shouts "NUTURE!"
@fondue with cheddar actually it's pronounced "bone-us aeries".
I did that trip (well, from Oregon to SF) with a friend also in grad school. It was *fabulous*. I still dream about it sometimes. . .
@hallelujah at my mother's 50th birthday party all of our relations got very drunk and starting confessing who they'd dropped as a baby. turns out everyone in my (huge catholic) family has been dropped on their head at least once.
my favourite was my aunt who dropped my mum on her head on the pavement and eventually took her (my mum) back inside to grandma and said "i can't make the baby wake up."
they're all fine! srsly!
@WWEKSD? Thanks so much, you guys! These are great practical strategies - so far I'd just been worrying vaguely.
Off to plan come-backs, practise conversation openers and look up the bus timetable for the city we'll be in. . . :)
I'm spending this Christmas with my girlfriend's family for the first time - she just came out to them and her father is a big homophobic jerk (her mother is super into being "tolerant and accepting" and has issued the invite). Tips? Helpful suggestions?