On The Baby-Sitters Club: Where Are They Now?

@Kristin Hardy@facebook
I identified most with Kristy,and it always annoyed me how people always made this assumption.

And then I had the revelation that this must be (sort of, maybe not to the same degree but still the same vein) how gay women feel about their childhood fictional heroes constantly gallivanting off to go have coitus.

I mean I'm still sore, but fair's fair.

Posted on January 3, 2014 at 8:58 pm 0

On You Are No Longer a Father to Me

I am not ok.

I had pictures taken of me, and I am not ok. I may never be ok.

I know you did not take those pictures, and I know that when you were younger you were not in a place to bring yourself to do anything. Like me, you were a victim.

You seem stronger now. If you are, do something. Do something, or I will literally vomit with rage and fear. It is not over for all of us, and for others, it hasn't even started. We are not just pictures, we are people. This goes beyond your family.

If you're not, that's ok. Don't push yourself, take the time and the space you need. This is in no way your fault. But please, don't act like he's some harmless old man.

Posted on July 28, 2013 at 4:05 pm 0

On Before Too Long, Everyone You Know Will Be Named Emma

Here's a great rule I heard for naming your kid: You want them to be the only one in their class with that name, but not the only one in the school.

Posted on May 30, 2013 at 10:40 pm 0

On The Over It Pie

Everyone is entitled to their own feels, bro.

So maybe I was disappointed that I thought a certain ass was fine and then found out I'd never get to tap it? #Sorrynotsorry.

Not their problem, but if they are seriously offended by it then that ass just went from fine to sore.

Posted on May 30, 2013 at 9:06 pm 0

On The Over It Pie

More like, 'isn't gay enough'.

Posted on May 30, 2013 at 8:59 pm 0

On The 1961 Birth of Negging, as Seen in "Go, Dog. Go!"

I remember talking about this with my mother when I was six years old, or so.
me- he's not nice!
mom- he's not.
me- why's he so mean?
mom- well, he's not mean. He doesn't tell her what he thinks of her hat unless she asks him. And he does tell her when he actually likes the hat. He is very rude, though.
me - Yeah, rude!
mom - You have to wonder though, why does she keep asking what he thinks of her hat? She seems kind of needy. Why should she care what he thinks of her hat?

*at this point the conversation I couldn't think of a response, so I stealthily derailed it by putting various non-hat objects on my head and asking my mother what she though of my hat. She did not like all of them.*

I wish I could have a party in a tree.

Posted on March 25, 2013 at 9:18 am 0

On The Natural Beauty and Cosmetics Advocate: Jessa Blades

The use of make-up in and of itself, regardless of its contents, undermines the basic definition of 'natural beauty'.

The fact that my mascara is brown and made of beeswax does not deter from the fact that without it my lashes would look thinner and shorter. It's still mascara, which is a product I apply to myself to create an illusion of having better lashes. Convenient and effective? Yes. Natural? Nope.

Posted on February 13, 2013 at 7:29 am 1

On Girls Who Wear Glasses on Halloween

Costume for a the real-life stereotypical nerd girl (not the porn version):

Don't shower for three days (two if you're naturally more greasy than average), while eating at least half a box of twinkies or other such packaged desert cakes. You should not look gross, but you should not look especially clean, either.

Find a large, ill-fitting (preferably men's) shirt that has a logo on it referencing any of the following:
Any Nintendo anything
Comedy/Parody Band
A math joke based on a PHONETIC pun(visual puns and word+word=lolword jokes do not count)
A convention that happened at least three years ago
Metal Band

PANTS, preferably pajama bottoms. Jeans will do.

Running shoes, canvas sneakers, or clunky boots. The comfier the better.

Fancy and delicate earrings/neclace. Real sh*t, not costume.

Put your hair in a messy low pony tail, throw on a hoodie from the bottom of your hamper, overfill its pockets, and GO.

Posted on November 2, 2012 at 1:40 pm 0