@BattyRabbit Fellow Virgo, not quite crying but equally floored by spot-on-ness. It's been a rough few months. Hug.
@Inkling I am definitely in favour of a weekly OKCupid thread. I deleted my profile a few months ago out of frustration but am thinking of starting a new one but can't decide if it's worth it. Needle in a big effing haystack of weirdness and douchery and friends-of-friends.
I did have a close dudefriend ask me to look at his online dating profile years ago and I said no. Because as much as I adore him, not everyone "gets" his quirks, and I had a feeling a profile critique would lead to awkwardness. A mutual friend later told me his profile was, in fact, terrible. But dudefriend found a lady IRL who gets him and is happily married to her so it all worked out in the end.
The bestworst was a dirty-haired punk rocker I met on the bus. He was a 16-year-old dropout who worked at a factory; I was a 17-year-old straight-A student. The first time he looked at me with his blue blue blue eyes, I stopped breathing for a second. He showed me his new Crass records; I started listening to Rancid (not even in the same ballpark but I figured I had to start somewhere). We talked about social justice and politics and zines and I thought he was so profound. I postponed our first date because I had a big sociology project; he blew me off because there was an all-day show in a field somewhere and he didn't call for a week. In the meantime, I found out through a mutual friend that he liked to fuck 14-year-olds in bathrooms at YMCA shows and didn't shower. ("How did you not notice that he doesn't shower?!" she asked. I was that smitten.) I cried and moved on. Ran into him at the end of the summer and he told me he was moving to Santa Cruz the next day. We had a beautiful, perfect goodbye scene. I later found out he never actually moved - as usual, it was all talk. And Out Come The Wolves is still one of my favourite albums.
@PomoFrannyGlass I just unlurked to thank you for your post. I've never heard this explanation of passive vs passive-agressive before and it explains SO MUCH about my ex. He eventually un-passived and broke it off, to his credit, but only after I called him on the fact that I was doing all of the work and having all of the feelings. But I also strongly feel he needed professional help, for several reasons, that he never got. Because getting help would have taken effort and risk, obvs.