@leonstj I used long words growing up as a way to keep my temper in check. If I had to really think about what I was saying it made it easier to stay calm. I started doing that because my parents tended to go right to screaming and swearing at each other. Now I find that I am worried someone is upset if they use long words and getting annoyed when I have to use them because that association is so ingrained.
On Frosting or Icing? Firefly or "Peenie Wallie"? Brew-Thru, Beverage Barn, or "I Have Never Heard of This Concept"?
@j-i-a I've lived in Arizona for over 30 years and pronounce it air-a-zona.
So I finally have an update on the homophobic boss/annual review situation I was venting about back around the fourth of July.
I nailed the review and passed a test for a work-related designation just before it so I received a cash bonus directly from the CEO and he just came into my office to tell me that even though we technically have a salary freeze in effect I am getting a small raise since I have taken on more responsibilities. Yeah me!
My direct supervisor is still an asshole and making homophobic jokes. And truly terrible puns. Some days I'm not sure which is worse. But he can kiss my ass and I am now trying to figure out how to come out in a place where I've been closeted for over five years.
This was well-timed for me. I had an intern shadowing me and I couldn't show him how much time I spend on non-work stuff. I was worried I would miss so much but I didn't!
@Passion Fruit No, it’s not a new job, I’ve actually been here over five years. He has been here longer but hasn’t been the department head for all of that time. I knew he was very politically conservative, we work in finance so that’s not unusual, but I’ve mostly trained him out of trying to talk about politics with me and trained myself to ignore him when he’s talking to others. He’s usually a very nice person but he just occasionally makes remarks that cause me to pause and think – wow, you’re an asshole.
I think that he is acting out in response to the world generally becoming more progressive than he would like by being more outspoken (gay jokes and racist comments) and doesn’t realize that it’s going to affect him professionally. He doesn’t seem to have aspirations beyond where he is and it doesn’t occur to him that management might not agree with his views or might care more about the bottom line than about catering to him. This is the first time it has directly affected his job and I don’t see his boss tolerating for long it we have to shuffle a lot of processes around because he can’t be trusted not to alienate clients.
I think I only have a year or so left here before it is time to move on, so I can handle it in the meantime. I was actually planning on coming out since Phoenix has added orientation to the city non-discrimination laws. I’m due for my annual review next month, so I think I will wait until that’s done and come out just to make him uncomfortable. I’m feeling a bit vindictive. But not enough to jeopardize my review even though he wouldn’t be able to justify anything.
My boss's boss just asked me if I have a problem working with gay people. I don't (I am gay but not out at work) so of course I said no, no problem. It turns out there is a potential client who is gay and my boss, who is usually the client contact person in our department, does have a problem. I knew he was super conservative and religious and its more visibility for me, but it’s really pissing me off. Fortunately I’m off until Tuesday so maybe by then I will not want to throw heavy books at his head.
@amirite I've noticed that more restaurants are ok with letting you get separate checks than used to be. When my extended family goes out we usually end up with five or six different checks and the server usually just asks that we don't move seats so they can keep track of us.
With my friends we usually just split the check, but there is always a discussion about where we want to go based on the cost and no judgement if someone can't make it.
@dj pomegranate In high school I was eating a piece of pizza with a friend and my sister and my friend commented that I really enjoy my food. She and my sister then discussed how they didn't really like eating and wished they could just take a pill everyday. At the time I probably weighed more than the two of them put together. I pulled back on spending time that included eating with them after that.
I met my bestworst guy when I was 17. I was an overachieving, overweight high school senior, an evangelical Christian, and desperately trying to prove to myself that I was normal (not gay). I met him in an SAT prep course and thought he was amazing. Smart, good-looking, nice car. In retrospect, he was pretty average and I just wasn’t used to the attention. I knew my mother and church friends wouldn’t approve since I didn’t meet him through church. I ran into a school friend once when we were at the mall, my friend called him a ‘trendy-fuck’ and told me not to waste my time with him.
It was the best and worst six months of my life as befitting relationship with a bestworst guy. I felt so happy when I was with him and ignored the fact I was lying to everyone I knew and used that to excuse the fact he hadn’t introduced me to any of his friends or family. The beginning of the end was a pregnancy scare. I let him convince me that we should run away and get married in Vegas. My parents were out of town and it’s only a few hours away. He even bought us new fake ids for the occasion. I sometimes wonder if they were made up names and info or really belonged to someone who is now technically married to someone she never met. I also wonder why I never pressed him on how we could get married without using our real names.
My period started a few days later and the next week I got an email from him that his mom was sending him to live with his dad somewhere in the mid-west. A mutual acquaintance told me a couple of months later that he died in a car accident. And I spent my freshman year of college mired in a depression I couldn’t explain to anyone and failed out. (There were other reasons for the depression too, but that was a big one.) He showed up again when I was 21. I hadn’t learned my lesson before, but that time it stuck.
It’s been almost 12 years since I saw or heard from him. I recently realized I don’t remember his last name. And I don’t care enough to go back through journals and emails to figure it out.
After a very bad perm in junior high I was told I looked like Curly Sue for a few years. When The Practice was on I got Camryn Manheim and now I get Melissa McCarthy. I'm a fat brunette.
My dad has been told for years that he looks like Willie Nelson. His answer is always "me and Uncle Willie get that a lot." Several people haven't been sure if he's kidding.