My parents got divorced when I was 12. My mom never dated afterwards-- until I was about 24, when she got a crush on a woman at her church. Now they're married and I have four stepbrothers and an awesome nephew, hooray! My biological brother is pretty great, but now that we have a proper posse, Christmas is even awesomer.
I loved this so hard!! I spent last summer trying to do basically your younger-self life, and I sort of succeeded? But like commenters above have said, it was tiring. As glamorous as I felt, making bad choices, I'm much comfier (and better rested) now that I'm being more of a homebody.
PS I am WAY too old to be able to write this comment. My wild period came after I was old enough to know the choices were bad? At least I don't regret them.
But anyway, I really enjoyed your writing, as well as your use of segmenting here.
@meetapossum "Prom is coming!"
Jane! Thanks for all the advice. We will miss you like crazy people.
I hope there will still be beauty content on the Hairpin! Jane's columns were some of my favorites. Maybe rotating, ask-a-lady style? If so, I volunteer to be Ask A Make-up Loving Hippie Lady.
@iceberg @packedsuitcase YES there are websites for night nurses! I used to be a nanny myself, and my family also had a night nurse. They do get paid more than regular sitters, and usually if there is a spare bed or sofa, they are allowed to doze off while (if) the wee one sleeps, I think.
Try a local nanny agency (google it); they've probably got the info for ya.
@Pygmalion @BosomBuddy Thank you, I will try these things! I love eyeliner and wear it every day (in pencil form), so I really want to master liquid for special occasions.
@Urwelt As are Starbucks napkins (?) (for real). Also, the Boscia brand blotting papers are 100 for $10, as opposed to the plastic-y Clean and Clear blue ones, which I used to think I loved until I realized they are actually more expensive at $7 for 50-- and the Boscia ones rock (they carry 'em at Ulta and Sephora).
For the oily eye-skin problem, I stick to Urban Decay 24/7 liner pencils, which really stay where they belong unless you go to town with the rubbing. On a bad allergies day, for example, I use a lighter or metallic color so it's not obvious if I accidentally rub half of it off.
If I'm going out in the evening, I run a make-up removing towelette (I like the Yes To blueberries ones) over my face but particularly around the eyes (avoiding the make-up but getting into the corners and on the lids up to my liner-- I rarely wear shadow) to remove excess oil (which WILL sting my eyes otherwise) and then just touch up the make-up as necessary.
Doing this regularly has helped the problem (as has getting a touch older, I think-- I'm 29 and this combined with gentler face products has my skin less oily than it's been since I was 12-- thank GOODNESS).
@Pygmalion I got it too, but I... can't make it work? I fail forever at liquid eyeliner. I just got it all over my lids, generally, and drew nothing remotely akin to "lines".
LW1: Sex is weird. It's messy, sweaty, sometimes smelly, funny, or awkward. Blowjobs are just one part of that continuum. While no one should make you want to do things you don't want to do, if you're happily receiving them, it might be kind to at least attempt to return the favor? Although just like among ladies, they are less important to some dudes than others. If you decide to try, though, a non-illustrated guide:
Step 1: I used to have a boyfriend who... didn't shower well. But he loved a good beej. The solution to this is positive reinforcement on your part. "Oh, I love how you smell right out of the shower!" [leading him by the belt buckle to the bathroom] Sexy warm shower= ultimate clean components. Soap him up real good yourself-- it doubles as foreplay, which he'll like, and you'll know he's actually clean.
Step 2: Hand around shaft is good advice-- lets you control the depth and speed. Light kissing/ licking around the tip is a good way to start. He's going to like basically anything you do to his penis (except teeth-- keep teeth out of it), so just experiment and see what you're down for.
Step 3: You don't have to finish this puppy. No one who deserves a beej would demand that you swallow, if you get him that far (your other option is just letting it run out-- some dudes like that). Alternately, you can lay him on his back, get him worked up with a blowjob, and then climb up on him and do your thang. He still gets his TLC, you don't have to swallow (which, really, isn't the worst, but I can see why some people don't like it).
TL;DR: If you're willing, take charge and experiment! It should be FUN, though-- there's no point otherwise. Enjoy yourself! If you decide it's not for you, is there something else he'd like that you are willing to do to even the score?
Just came back to say that I always love a good crunchy sandal rec! I've just bought the Merrell Henna in black. Wish me luck!