On Teenage Girls, as Imagined By an 8-Year-Old in 1991

Karen Ka had to have been inspired by Clarissa Explains it All. Only explanation for that hair and outfit.

Posted on December 19, 2013 at 1:46 pm 1

On Interview with a Pagan Clergyman

Fascinating interview, and I really loved this line "I knew that I could never believe the idea that shows up in most religions—the idea that all other religions are wrong."

I have a lot I could say about this, but I'll limit myself to saying that this is a beautiful thought and I wish that common religious thought in the United States these days was more along these lines.

Posted on October 17, 2013 at 3:15 pm 1

On The Cheap Wine Report

I'm in love with this post. I live in Utah, where all non-beer booze has to be purchased at a state-run liquor store. While whenever I go in I feel like I'm among friends, the racks upon racks upon racks upon racks of bottles are always so overwhelming, and I always feel like a naughty teenager sneaking a drink and never have any idea what to ask for, booze-shopping always seems really difficult. I always just end up with a giant jug of Smirnoff, even though it's way to sharp for my taste, because that's what I know.

Posted on August 14, 2013 at 2:49 pm 0

On Questions Sydney Leathers Has for Women Paired with Questions Anthony Weiner Had for Sydney Leathers

@blueberry mary I think the term "bad person" is so subjective, but for me, a big indicator of a person's character is whether they try to act with integrity. It's hard to make an argument that knowingly participating in something that is duplicitous in nature and would be hurtful to an uninvolved third party constitutes acting with integrity.

Even though it isn't the sexter's job to safeguard a marriage she's not a part of, she's still an active participant in the deception. At the very least, it's a pretty callous way to behave.

I don't think it follows that doing porn and having an affair are really comparable. A porn actress is there to do a job. She does the job, shuts the camera off, and goes on with her regular life. She only comes into the lives of her viewers when they seek her out through her work. She has no control over who watches her videos or whether they have partners who would mind if they did.

Affairs require the agency of both people involved throughout the entire relationship. They both have to actively opt into the affair. They both have to agree that the affair will take place without the other spouse's knowledge, and take action to ensure that stays the case. It's the active deception, I think, that makes the action "bad."

Posted on August 6, 2013 at 6:34 pm 1

On Questions Sydney Leathers Has for Women Paired with Questions Anthony Weiner Had for Sydney Leathers

"Who thanks someone after an orgasm?"

My first boyfriend did that, and it was always SUPER WEIRD AND CREEPY. It made the whole thing feel really prostitute-y, and while I'm not necessarily opposed to sex work, I thought that we were just two people doin' it because we liked each other. Red flags. Red flags all around.

But for real, this scandal leaves such a bad taste in my mouth, and I think it's because everything is just so tacky. I feel like I can't be shocked by politicians having affairs, but seeing those politicians squirreling around like fourteen year olds on MySpace makes everything somehow much worse.

Posted on August 6, 2013 at 1:19 pm 2

On Why There's Still No Birth Control Pill for Men

I feel such bemusement and chagrin when I read these sorts of articles. There are a number of men I know who have repeatedly stated that they would love the option to take care of long-term birth control themselves.

"However, men do not directly experience any of the health risks of pregnancy — their female partners do. Thus it becomes more difficult, ethically, to justify the side effects of hormonal contraceptives in men."

I feel like there's some questionable logic going on here. I also suspect that the person who wrote this article has only a hazy idea of what "ethical" actually means.

Posted on August 5, 2013 at 12:59 pm 3

On "I don’t want her to wear her good nature like a gemstone, her body like an ornament"

@empathicalist "(I'm not even gonna talk about the creepy old dudes, I think we're all in agreement with that being bad.)"

But where does one draw the line? I know that you mentioned that it is indeed a very fine line, but you can't immediately tell by looking who the creepy people are. I think that there are certainly some places where people should be willing to look past first impressions - places like school, work, or other places that exist, at least in part, to foster and facilitate relationships (and even then, I would try to prepare my child to set firm boundaries if someone says or does something to make her uncomfortable). To me, the grocery store, the park, the mall, etc., don't qualify. While I'd be concerned if my child refused to engage with anyone at school, I don't think she should be compelled to engage with random people at the store for the sake of politeness.

Posted on August 5, 2013 at 12:47 pm 1

On Friday Open Thread

Hi everybody! Happy Friday! So, I sent this question in to the advice line, but I notice that the Hairpin as a whole is mostly moving away from that, so I wanted to ask the Harpinnery at large:

What kind of soap and body-wash do successful adults use? I've spent a long time trying to put together a nice home for my partner and I and create a professional wardrobe and upgrade my makeup, but I'm just totally baffled by, more or less, successful adult toiletry products. I know that this is sort of stupid and materialistic, but we're having some stay-over guests (my partner's family) who HATE ME AND THINK I'M TERRIBLE. I guess I'm trying to use every tool I have, if not to make them like me, to at least make me look like I have my shit together. That way, ideally, I can face these people with as much confidence in the home and life I've built as possible. What do you think?

Posted on August 2, 2013 at 3:09 pm 0

On Fast Fashion and the "Economy of Unquenchable Desire"

@elsaschneider I'm not trying to start anything, and God knows I love to thrift shop, but I feel like a major reason thrift stores/secondhand stores even exists is fast-fashion and its ilk. If large numbers of people couldn't afford to give away clothes before they wear them out, thrift stores wouldn't exist, especially not on the scale that we see today. I think that fast-fashion places (and fast-not-necessarily-so-fashionable places like Old Navy and Macy's) are a big part of that. So while I think thrift stores are great, I don't know that they're a true alternative to fast-fashion as much as a byproduct.

Posted on July 8, 2013 at 3:09 pm 3

On Weird Boyfriends and Height Differences

@Mrs. Bob Benson? My general advice would be not to worry about it. If the guy you're hooking up with wasn't into it, he'd let you know. As other people have already mentioned, you don't know what your FWB told this mutual friend of yours, if he in fact said anything. Even if your FWB is questioning his sexuality, that doesn't mean he's not interested in having sex with ladies. Human sexuality is a broad spectrum; it doesn't have to be either/or. It seems clear from his actions that he is, in fact, attracted to and interested in having sex with YOU. Who cares if he also fantasizes about having sex with Channing Tatum?

If he was really uninterested in sex with ladies in general and specifically uninterested in sex with you, he probably would stop having sex with you. There are a lot of ways out of FWB situations, and he's not taking them.

All you can do is take this guy at his word. Just be safe, respect each other, and keep being honest with each other about your wishes and expectations.

Posted on June 26, 2013 at 4:04 pm 1