On The Stupid Trendy Cocktail Bar Name Generator

I got the Wit and Casket, which is just a metaphor for my life, really.

Posted on April 22, 2014 at 8:31 am 0

On Wikipedia Lists for the Year of the Horse

I guy I lived with in uni dropped out of his scholarship in Physics to become the guy who leads the horse town the tow path in Llangollen or somewhere godforsaken like that.

He probably doesn't regret it.

Posted on January 31, 2014 at 10:42 am 0

On Girl, You Must Be...

Girl, you must be a dependence because you are a compulsive or chronic need; an addiction: an alcohol dependence.

Hells yeah, I am!

Posted on November 20, 2013 at 8:34 am 0

On So You're Saying I'm Not Going to Sleep with B-I-E-B-E-R?

In an annoying twist of fate this link isn't available in the UK. Or it is? What's the programme called, maybs I can find it in iPlayer? Would some handy clairvoyant please let me know? I'm spinning my string... NOW!

Posted on July 30, 2013 at 10:55 am 0

On Reason for Admission to Lunatic Asylum: Masturbation for 30 Years

Imaginary Female Trouble"? Trouble with an Imaginary Female? Or Females imagining troubles?

Posted on July 19, 2013 at 9:21 am 0

On New Old Wives' Tales

"Those little flies that sometimes buzz annoyingly around your face are the physical embodiments of unpleasant things people are saying about you at that moment." I KNEW IT!!!

Posted on April 19, 2013 at 10:49 am 1

On Image Serving No Purpose Other Than to Let Us Stare at That Sweet Face All Day

@Lady Humungus Hm, I got mine prescribed through NHS (and it is a SUPER gross colour, but hey! Free!)... but I'm guessing your in America? If so, find a mental health charity that can get one for you or... eBay? but second hand blanket = super gross.

Posted on April 10, 2013 at 12:40 pm 0

On Image Serving No Purpose Other Than to Let Us Stare at That Sweet Face All Day

@Lady Humungus, Well promise me you'll try it... I scoffed derisivly when someone suggested it to me - as IF something so petty as a weighted blanket could help at all with what was obviously a massive black hole hovering just above my bed ready to drag me to the very shrinking depths of HELL - but I tried it, and had the first full night of sleep ever and now I'm preaching about it on the internet, so there you go. It might not work for you, but I really hope it does because the Night Panics are just the absolute worst.

On the flip side: I now spend a lot less time awake at night writing my terrible novel (BECAUSE I AM A WORTHLESS HUMAN BEING WITH NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE WORLD AND EVERYONE HATES ME AND WHEN I DIE EVERYONE WILL LAUGH AND HAVE A PLEXIA'S DEAD PARTY BUT AT LEAST I WILL HAVE PRODUCED THIS ONE THING), so that's probably never gonna get done now. But it's a solid trade.

Posted on April 10, 2013 at 10:31 am 0

On Image Serving No Purpose Other Than to Let Us Stare at That Sweet Face All Day

@Lady Humungus You should get a weighted blanket, if you haven't already. I don't wanna be The Girl Who Will Fix You On the Internet, but I used to have totally debilitating anxiety, like couldn't work or breath a lot of the time and nothing worked, but then I got a weighted blanket and it CHANGED MY LIFE! I mean, I can sleep through the most nights without the night spirals, and well slept me is way more able to face the Terrifying World than tired me who mainly just had panic attacks and hid under desks.

Posted on April 10, 2013 at 9:22 am 0

On Image Serving No Purpose Other Than to Let Us Stare at That Sweet Face All Day

I am super super bummed about Ian Banks dying because he looks exactly like my dad, and every time I see the news article I think of my dad dying, and then feel relieved that he's not, then feel like a TOTAL BITCH for being Happy Ian Bank's is dying instead of my dad. It's a very complicated cycle and basically just ends in me feeling like shit. I hope my dad never dies and Ian Banks gets magically cured.

Posted on April 10, 2013 at 9:08 am 2