On Ask a Glutton: When Your Food Groups Are Cheese, Chocolate, and Coffee

I mean, bless your mom, but as a CSA-loving hippie leaning knocked up (33 weeks, DEAR GOD) lady who went through this once already almost 5 years ago (AGAIN DEAR GOD), this?

"mung beans and rice, a staple of ayurvedic medicine that practitioners believe helps balance heating and cooling energies. It’s a complete protein, easily digestible, and contains large amounts of, turmeric, garlic, and ginger, all of which are supposed to be quite good at soothing the baby-ravaged beast It also is incredibly gingery and delicious, and tastes great slathered with cilantro whole milk yogurt."

is my worst nightmare. Well-meaning, lovely sweet gesture of a nightmare but .... oh dear god NopeNopeNopeNope. Many many women have food and taste issues during and after pregnancy, they don't always go away after giving birth. So I guess, know your audience? This is just, og, it makes my gorge rise.

my suggestion is simple dishes that are easily freezable and pre-doled into 2-3 (or more, depending on # of family members) serving portions. Mini lasagnas (make in those half size tin foil pans, or in loaf pans), veg or meat. Quiches. White bean, tomato, and greens stew over rice frozen in individual packets/containers. Also you can put together nursing mom lunchable-style snack-meals: kits of cheese and good crackers or wasa bread, dips, cut veggies, etc., easy to eat with one hand whilst nursing.

Posted on September 4, 2013 at 3:34 pm 1

On Ask a Three-Year-Old: My Kid Will Only Eat Sweet Things!

@blueblazes if only that we're always the case. As kids get older, many times they'll reject what they once accepted. Mine, for example, ate everything save sweet potatoes as a baby. And I mean EVERYTHING. Now, as a 4-almost-5 year old? HA. YEAH RIGHT.

It's part control, part their tastes changing. I've seen it with literally all his friends: "good" eaters shifted to only eating grilled cheese and chicken nuggets when they hit toddler hood. Mine was always consistent with broccoli, but everything else became a struggle.

we did have good success talking to him about good energy versus bad energy, and how sugary stuff might taste good, but give you bad energy that runs out. And how sometimes-foods are treats because too many of them make you sick (him throwing up after getting motion sick after eating too many chocolate chip cookies at grandma's helped cement this). But still, give his druthers, kiddo would go to town on ritz crackers and sugar over spinach.

We have had some excellent progress lately with explaining that superheroes are strong because they eat a lot of veggies. Hulk loves spinach, iron man is a big fan of carrots, etc. also seasoning them well--I like veg with a little butter and salt, why should he eat them plain?

Posted on August 24, 2013 at 4:30 pm 0

On "Baby shower help for non-broody Brit"

First, all showers, baby or bridal need to feature booze. Both of mine starred "boozy bridal/baby punch" ( aka cheap prosecco and orange-pineapple juice).

Second, do not get some kind of luxe anything. No cashmere, no fancy ass clothes. get yourself a miracle blanket, or a kidapottamus swaddle me--they are Velcro swaddling blankets. Silicone nursing pads are the shit. in sizes bigger than newborn. Also, a copy of happiest baby on the block book or DVD.

My go to shower gift is pulling all the random crap that no one ever tells you you need off the shelves of babies r us or buy buy baby. The nursing pads, the butt cream (I am partial to burrs bees), the nail clippers, the washcloths, the waterproof quilted pads, the weird breastfeeding nipple creams. The not cute shit that is NECCESSARY.

Posted on January 18, 2012 at 8:57 pm 0

On Scandals of Classic Hollywood: Paul Newman, Decency Manifest

Here's where I tell my friend's Paul Newman story. She was at college in CT, and her car broke down with a flat tire in the rain. A car pulled up and asked her if she needed any help--and it was Paul Newman and Joanne. She had already called AAA, and was like, no I'm cool, but thank you, and they sat there with her until Aaa came.

She told this to me later and I was like PAUL NEWMAN OFFERED TO CHANGE YOUR TIRE...? AND YOU SAID NO??

Posted on November 15, 2011 at 8:05 pm 10

On Watch Pierce Brosnan React For Six Minutes

@EleanorRigby I think he's actually been quoted as saying something along the lines of 6 weeks in paradise with Meryl Streep, who could say no?

I bet that cast drank a shitton on location

Posted on August 16, 2011 at 5:51 pm 0

On How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Vacation With a Miscarriage

Oh honey. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I want to punch the nurses for you. miscarrying is so horrible, and miscarrying in the ER is even more miserable. (when I had my miscarriage, the ER doc was a nightmare, making a crushing experience all the more traumatic, and only the nurse who had been through it before was at all empathetic.)

Posted on August 16, 2011 at 11:22 am 2

On Ask a Clean Person: Butt Marker, Cast Iron, and Hood Grease

for the best cast iron seasoning, you need FLAXSEED oil--it makes it hard, smooth and eggs slide right off


(also, Dobies rule)

Posted on August 4, 2011 at 3:01 pm 1

On Do This No. 5: Off-the-Registry Wedding Gifts That Keep on Giving

@Kristen I'm with you: she wants the deviled egg thing! get it for her!

I'm also of the mind that showers are gift giving occasions (shower with gifts). Weddings can be, but don't have to be, esp if you're in the bridal party. Shit gets expensive really quickly.

but that said? people register for a reason. And while going off registry for some folks is fine and dandy (like you know her really well) and get some awesome somethingorother, I also have a small collection of "local artisan" weird things from family members who went off registry and bought to their taste, not ours. I'd rather have gotten a nice card or note from them.

So if you want to make it more personal, get the egg thingie, a picture of the two of you and some of the ingredients she uses to make deviled eggs. Or just give her a photo of the two of you!

and the most favorite thing I got for my wedding? The $5 egg slicer. For real. It is the most awesome thing ever and I really really wanted it and we were afraid no one would buy it because it's one of the podunk lil things. But my aunt did, and it's AWESOME. And everytime I use it, I think of how awesome my aunt is.

Posted on May 23, 2011 at 4:39 pm 0

On Beauty Q&A: Wedding Makeup

Hot pink blush for the win! It scares my non cool olive friends though. But looks awesome!

@every tomorrow, i bet we do have similar skin tones. TOO MUCH ORANGE! Foundation is a bitch for me to find, everything is either way pink or way yellow on me. But I think my search for non yellow tinted moisturizer may finally have come to an end though, with chanticalle in bliss.

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 10:07 pm 0

On Beauty Q&A: Wedding Makeup

I do not love Orgasm blush. It's orange sparkles on my face and looks HORRIBLE. For what it's worth, I have pale cool olivish skin, but a bright pink applied lightly looks SO MUCH BETTER on me.

Apparently though I am the exception to every "this looks good on everyone!" rule. I had to give away (to my mom, but still) the Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer I bought before my wedding because it was so very yellow on me and made me look even greener than I am naturally.

(though Jane, thank you so much for the eyeliner tutorial. it changed my life, for reals)

Posted on April 26, 2011 at 2:37 pm 0