Jim Behrle

Jim Behrle

Most Recently: Christmissed

In Praise of Donuts: A (Slightly) Modified Sonnet

People, Happy National Donut Day! READ MORE

What the Hell Should You Do With Your Life?

So you just graduated. Congratulations. Hopefully you spent the weekend patting yourself on the back. It took me eight years to graduate from college. And that was in the '90s, when the internet wasn’t even any good yet. But you got it done. And you deserve to feel the accomplishment of it. But you may be feeling something today, in this moment, that you haven’t ever felt before. Concern for your future. What will you be in five years, five months, five minutes? You temporarily experienced concern for your future when you applied for colleges. But there are always safety schools. Life has no safety schools, except maybe the internet. READ MORE

Princess Problems, Volume II


Princess Problems


Easter Greetings




Jim Behrle Valentines

Previously: Win a Jim Behrle Valentine READ MORE

Win a Jim Behrle Valentine

Valentine's Day Approacheth, and you can be a winner! Do something nice for somebody else today and let us know about it in the comments fields or by sending us an email at ididsomethingnice@thehairpin.com, and you could win a special Jim Behrle poem dedicated to you this Valentine's Day. Our exclusive team of Niceness Judges will decide who is the nicest! Go nice crazy! READ MORE



So We're Not Going to Live Happily Ever After

I don’t read whole articles, just headlines. And then I write the rest of the article in my head as I see fit, to agree with what I already believe. And this article that I read the headline of last night tells me that love isn’t forever, and that I should stop waiting for the one perfect person to fill every part of my life. Also that I should shoot for “micro-moments of positivity resonance.” Talk about lowering the love bar. I get “micro-moments of positivity resonance” when I’m at the urinal by myself. Some of those urinal standing-up-whizzing moments are the most satisfying of my life. I am going to marry a urinal. I’ll be right back. READ MORE