I want to wallpaper my walls with Baba Yaga answers.
By Beaks on Friday Open Thread
@Miss Maszkerádi Not to be all trite and whatnot, but life is long and contains very few real deadlines. There is no rule that says you have to have your shit sorted out by 25 or 45 or 95, may we all live that long.
Grad school- is generally terrible, even when you are in a program you enjoy. For me it was the whole "not actually real life thing" coupled with the "costing so damn much." How much relevance will your final GPA have to your future goals? If the answer is none (which it commonly is, if you're not planning on additional academic work or one of the, like, 3 fields where your employer might care), I highly recommend only sinking time into a) what you absolutely have to get done to graduate and b) things you are genuinely interested in learning or think will be useful in your future career. The rest is probably not worth your time. Get some sleep/ exercise/ outside air instead.
As a corollary- I highly recommend spending time with people who are not in grad school. Knitting groups, sports, whatever- get off campus and especially away from the people in your program. People who are not in grad school tend to not think like grad students, and that can help in a "there is life beyond grad school" kind of way.
This last thing- this is hard, but...try to think about dating as "meeting new and possibly interesting people" rather than as a thing you have to do in order to be in a relationship. Relationships take two people, and you only have control over you. Now, finishing grad school (mostly because free time), working towards your goals, being a happier you? That puts you in a better spot to be in a relationship, but there's no way to make one happen, other than working at meeting new and interesting people and appreciating them as themselves rather than as "potential future boyfriend"
The spring is just around the corner, and will be here sooner than you think. You'll be out here in the non-grad school world with the rest of us in no time. It's nice here- sometimes there are weekends. Weekends are awesome.
By yrouttasight on The Unsexy Pie
My birth control does a pretty good job of that :\...
About to see the boy again! Things went pretty well last week. Still trying to figure out exactly how I feel about him. I'm halfway between "time is ticking, hurry up" and "this is fun! just enjoy it!"
My grandparents had a (long dead now) next door neighbor named Richard Everhard. And yes, he did go by Dick. He was also a high school teacher. I wish it was a joke. It was not.
One of my favorite stories from college was when we were freshman and some older guys came up to us at a party and said, "heh heh... isn't your last name Goodhead?" and you responded brilliantly, "no, it's GREAT." xoxo
Far be it from me to question the wisdom of Baba Yaga (and I do worry about witchy revenge) but I have alternate advice, as I too was once in the same position of obsessing over the menfolk while the rest of my life needed tending. Not a vision board, rather trying out a 30-day Man Sobriety regime. No flirting, coy texts, etc. And it actually worked! When I wasn't allowed to bother with men, I managed to focus on more important stuff. Not saying every day was easy (as I suspect is true of any attempt at sobriety), but once the 30 days were up I found that my habit to devote so much thinking time to dudes had lessened substantially. And I paid attention to neglected friends, thought seriously about my career, and bought a couch!
@harebell I live in L.A., and I agree with this statement. The entire population suffers from a deadly combination of vanity, insecurity, ambition and completely reasonable unwillingness to sit in one's car for an hour minimum to go get a $15 cocktail (after which you are trapped with an asshole until you have metabolized the alcohol). Awwwww I am part of the problem!
By leonstj on Friday Open Thread
Any dude worth liking as a friend or otherwise doesn't worry about awful "friend zone" garbage ever. Just go and enjoy the company, and be however you feel like, and the vibes may just mutually work themselves out!
I feel like a lot of time nobody needs to "say" anything, it becomes obvious where who is at & all, ya know?
@lasso tabasco I think it was a little under 10K total-including the unexpected and expensive trip to the Galapagos and my second flight home!