The Best Time I (Maybe) Got Rabies


Return to South Mouth Kingdom

Whoa, that seems like a lot of rules! Isn’t there some sort of magic unifying principle!? We at the Hairpin traffic primarily in magic unifying principles, so we’re happy to relay that yes, there is one, and it’s pH balance. Your vagina needs to be a little on the acidic side (3.8-4.5) to be happy. Hairpin fave Kate Clancy has a long-form explanation on why this should be, but the gist is that your vagina contains multitudes: bacteria, yeast, and other organisms. The vag is healthiest when the Lactobacilli bacteria are in power; they output hydrogen peroxide to keep the pH down and inhospitable to the other bacteria. As rulers they are beneficial, kind, and stupid, and others lie in wait for their turn to dominate: specifically, gardnerella (bacterial vaginosis) and candida (yeast infection). Your quest is to prevent this from happening. READ MORE

IUDs, or A Detailed Guide to Long-Term Sperm Scarecrows

To nobody’s surprise, your Health Secretary received more curious inquiries about IUDs than any other topic. I hear you: an encounter with something that seems perfect for your vaginal needs, but what’s this nasty reputation. You ask yourself, “Is the bad stuff I’ve heard true? Could we work together — even in the long term?” If we’re still talking about IUDs, and I’m not sure we are, there are good answers to your questions. Let’s "I" and "U" "D"-scuss. READ MORE

Actually Ask a Nurse

Hey, you've got a body! Now, about this body you've got — how's it doing? Have you ever thought, "I would like ask a question or learn more about something going on with this body?" READ MORE

Ask (Another) Abortion Provider: Roe vs. Wade, 39th Anniversary Commemorative Edition

Nearly 40 years ago, abortion was legalized in the United States. To mark the occasion, Lola McClure, a registered nurse, interviewed Dr. Nancy Stanwood, an obstetrician/gynecologist, abortion provider, mother, and board member with the Physicians for Reproductive Choice and Health. READ MORE

A Scenic Guide to Your Abnormal Pap Smear

Hey, did you know that January is Cervical Health Awareness Month? If your response was “oh Lola FUCK you, dude” I’m guessing you are one of the 2-3 million people in the US who found themselves on the freaking-out end of an abnormal pap smear result in the last year. Understandably! Hey APSC (Abnormal Pap Smear Crew), bring your HPV, cervixes, and questions about whether that HPV is cervixes' cancer over here. And let’s talk. READ MORE