“You actually really like _______. Hey, you’re not like most girls, are you.” Music/science/video games/comics/burritos/algebra/leathermaking/Egyptology/opening doors/swordfighting/cooking with a wok/breakdancing/trains/being alone. I desperately wish women weren't so often treated as...frosting. Yuck. Take our picture and GTFO.
@pterodactylish For many years, my primary wingman was a dude. Those years encompassed a very long, dry period in my "picking up guys in bars" career. However, one night I was hanging out with aforementioned wingman at the bar and a dude came and talked to me anyway. And that's the dude I married.
@Radio_LJ Keep in mind that actual children are hurt by child pornography though, and that by buying, downloading, and distributing it, it creates and perpetuates that industry. If someone with a pedophilic fetish reaches out to a therapist, that therapist is required to notify the authorities if at any point they think that actual human minors might be hurt, which is exactly as it should be. I certainly don't deny that jail is not at all the best way to with people who struggle with this, but acquiring child pornography is NOT a victimless crime.
For anyone reading this who might need this information, it IS illegal to possess child pornography. Even if he didn't take the pictures himself, simply storing the files on his computer, receiving them as downloads, accessing them on websites etc is all illegal under federal law. You can report these things to local police and to your state attorney general. Again, just posting this in case anyone reading this article is in a similar situation and doesn't know what to do.
Send them this comment thread. I want to hear their sides of the stories.
No coherent thoughts are just happening in my head. It's just a mash of "MANNERS...LIP GLOSS...BEHAVIORAL STUDIES...ANTIQUES...OH MY GOD THE CATS..."
@Bittersweet Of course! Guys they have just started saying "I love you" - when they say "Ah voo Mama!" IT'S ALL WORTH IT!!!
@noodge I was unsuccessful in my journey through fertility treatment, ending with IVF. I grieved deeply for the first year. Part of me will always grieve but I chose to not make it the central issue of my life. I deliberately chose to move forward and make my life about other things. My need to nurture is addressed by teaching adult education. Working with other people's children would have been too hard and I knew my limits.
An unfulfilled desire to have children can be heartbreaking and feel like the end of the world but it isn't the end of the world. Just a different world from what was hoped for. As with anything else that qualifies as a personal tragedy, it is possible to move through it and beyond it if one can find the resolve to do so.
Thanks to Iceburg for sharing this. It always lifts my heart to hear the success stories.
@Joey Somewhere, somehow, the Dowager Countess just punched the air.
@MilesofMountains My family is the whitest, English-est looking set of people I have ever seen, except for my baby sister, who is dark olive-skinned with dark-brown-almost-black eyes, and just a completely different build to the rest of us (but not unlike my cousins, interestingly), and people have always just straight-up demanded to know why.
I have to say, "Is she your real sister?" is one of the worst things I've ever been repeatedly asked (even, once, by a teacher, when I was 11!), because she isn't my full-biological sister, no, because I have a different biological father to my sisters. I'm the odd-one out, only I got the English-y genetics, so nobody asks me.
Ugh. I just don't know why you would ask a stranger about their genetic make-up. Family is what you make it, and god knows you really really don't need anybody else's input.
(Also, iceberg, you're wonderful, and your writing is really compelling and comprehensive!)