@Beaker Ooh, this is hard because honestly, that sounds like pretty typical renter behavior. There's a big difference between taking out the trash and keeping the toilet bowl white. Like, one is universally considered important, and one some people only care about when they own the place. And that's what makes this tricky. Would her behavior bother you if your parents didn't own the place?
If so, that's fair game. Having been the messier roommate, I responded well to, "Hey, I didn't mention this earlier because these are all such little things that I feel petty mentioning them. But it really adds up, and I would want you to tell me if something was bugging you. Will you please try to be more aware of leaving chocolate on the faucet and [whatever else]?"
If not, I'd recommend a maid service. (I know there are many reasons related to feminism and labor that can make this problematic, but I'm convinced it's possible to do this in a non-problematic way.) I have one that comes biweekly and does the deeper cleaning stuff-- wiping down the bathroom, cleaning the oven, etc. My husband and I do the stuff your roommate does-- take out the trash, do the dishes, etc. It's $90 for 1200 square feet and worth every. single. penny. I am convinced this is the secret to happy cohabitation.
@Danzig! Hooray! Best of luck.
Your original post reminded me of when I first started dating my husband and had a serious case of the Groucho Marx. You know, I didn't want to be a member of any club who would have me as a member. Not that that's necessarily what's happening here. Just saying that sometimes the initial attraction seems asymmetrical, but that's not a bad thing.
@Danzig! Report back on how it goes? I feel invested now!
@camanda Like Verity said, I think it's always best to focus on what you like about this new job instead of what you don't like about your current job. Like this new job would let you develop X skill or do this thing that you enjoy or provide more opportunity for advancement. It's understood that the unspoken part is "...because my current job doesn't have that." But it sounds so much better to say what's appealing about this new job instead of what you're currently unhappy with.
@Cawendaw God bless you.
@paper bag princess This is interesting! And helpful. Thank you.
@TheclaAndTheSeals Jesus, it's typo city in this thread. I swear I'm going to proofread this email like 10 times.
@paper bag princess Yeah, my current workplace is very comfortable with touchy-feeling phrases, but this interviewer came across as more old school. Like, not someone who wants to hear the phrase "my professional passion." But I don't know how to express enthusiasm without resorting to phrases "I would love to..."
@Statham In house recruiting.
I'm also blocked because the person I talked to (the head recruiter) has probably received 28923048723 thank you notes this week alone (not for this position, but generally). It feels like a higher bar than the typical hiring manager who interviews a couple of people a year.
Will someone please write a interview thank-you note for me? I'm using ok at this sort of follow up, but I have a bad case of Friday brain and can barely write in complete sentences.