well it is good that this is just dumb 18 and 19 year olds, because adults that age don't need to make any important decisions about whether to attend college, which college, how difficult a major to choose, whether to join the military, or what kind of a job or internship to apply for, and they certainly are not susceptible at that age to making or changing those decisions based on what will make their boyfriends happy.
Why is everyone being so negative? Maybe the reason these young men are feeling bad when their girlfriends succeed is because they have seen how hard it was for the women they love to reach the same levels their male friends have considered as birthright and stepped into, and the knowledge of the patriarchy from which the benefighgflgtrhjigldkhg
sorry, I almost choked to death trying to say that with a straight face
@yeah-elle man I feel the opposite though, because their girlfriends are also 18 rather than 42 and being told your boyfriend wants you to be second-class hits harder when it is a newer sensation.
It is like the Margaret Atwood thing about how little girls only seem cute to adults, but to each other they are life-size. To teenage girls, teenage boys are life-size too.
By Bebe on Solution: Deal With It
@Emby I think what you're feeling is totally normal - if it were one of your friends getting more responses, you'd be happy for them and a little sad for you. It doesn't sound like you're being a big pouty baby about it or making her feel bad for getting more responses/interviews. Job searching is just hard. Hope something good comes up for you (and your gf) soon!
By chevyvan on Friday Open Thread
@supfreckles Oh no...what an awful situation. I'm so sorry! This is a bad sign: " I need a better/smarter/more 'manly' man than he is." Believe him. Believe him 100%. When someone tells you they're not good enough for you, they're telling the truth and you should listen. He may be a good guy, but he can't handle a relationship with you. I know that I (and maybe everyone else) have the tendency to try to figure out how to fix it. Or go back and try to figure out what I could have done differently over and over in my head. Try not to focus on those things - just take care of yourself.
And this is a personal belief, but I don't think there is a "THE ONE." I think there are lots of people who you can/will love in your life. I know that probably doesn't help when you're hurting, but I think it's true. Hugs!
By RNL on Friday Open Thread
@Jinxie I say be honest, but in a fairly off-hand way. If you're a jokey person, just joke around. It's perfectly fine to be like "crazy Jinxie seeks sexy dude with whom she can climb fences, play board games, and talk about our feelings like adults. I like relationships. How about you?"
ALSO remember: Your profile is selling YOU. Their profile is selling THEM. It's like bait. Put the bait up to catch the general variety of fish you want to catch, but then throw back the fish you don't want. What I mean is, do your screening in you reading time, not your writing time. Nobody likes a laundry list of qualities a dater is looking for on a profile - it seems kind of judgmental and self-involved.
That being said, I like a few litmus tests on a profile, like the word "feminist". That one is good.
By Chel on Friday Open Thread
So I finally have an update on the homophobic boss/annual review situation I was venting about back around the fourth of July.
I nailed the review and passed a test for a work-related designation just before it so I received a cash bonus directly from the CEO and he just came into my office to tell me that even though we technically have a salary freeze in effect I am getting a small raise since I have taken on more responsibilities. Yeah me!
My direct supervisor is still an asshole and making homophobic jokes. And truly terrible puns. Some days I'm not sure which is worse. But he can kiss my ass and I am now trying to figure out how to come out in a place where I've been closeted for over five years.
By KeLynn on Friday Open Thread
You know how sometimes you see a lipstick at Ulta, and you want it, but then you learn it's $22 and that sounds CRAZY FOR LIPSTICK, but then you can't stop thinking about it so you go back and buy it and tell yourself it's a "special treat" and that you're being so lavish and that this is going to be your "fancy" lipstick, but then after just a few days you're so in love you already want another shade of it, and suddenly $22 doesn't seem SO CRAZY anymore and now you don't even recognize yourself because what is going on with your warped sense of value?
That's me this week.
@Roxanne Rholes OKAY YOU GUYS I AM LEAVING RIGHT NOW WISH ME LUCK AHHHH
By bevrockin on Friday Open Thread
GOT A JOB INTERVIEW! NEXT FRIDAY AT 3 PM! It was just about the only time I could do it, because the current job (where I am not now) requires me to do insane amounts of travel. I am going to be away from home for the next two weeks in a row (except weekends, of course, and that one Friday). It will be a job that's a little bit daunting, but I know I can do it. Plus, it requires NO travel at all, and pays better.
Thank you, Jesus. I am so ready to be off and up out of this place.