I live in an uncool neighborhood and write a blog no one reads.
Yeah, I'm with you. I've fucking had with this series. It's trying so hard to be funny, but someone needs to put it out of its misery, like... three installments ago.
These comments are making me sad, so allow me to say the following: Jessica Roake! I think I love you! Let's be horrible people together! :D
"people out there who don't find this titillating at the very least" = me, for one. Sorry? Surprise? I don't know what the right reaction is here.
"May prick nor purse ne'er fail you" = omg, best tattoo everrrrrr
She's also written gems like "Leg Love: How to Understand and Control Your Cellulite!" and "Luscious Lips: 5 Tips and Tricks for a Pretty Pucker!" and "Hair Transformation: Solange Knowles' Constantly Changing Look!" I just... I dunno. I need to go lie down for a while, I think.
Whaaaaaat? It's like she has a PhD in givin' it away for little financial benefit. WHAT THE H
Dolomite?! The tough black mineral that won't cop out when there's heat all about? I'm 40% dolomite!
YOU WIN THE INTERNETS
But... she says she is pulling her weight. She says she still pays for half of everything which makes me think she got the worst of a bad bargain. If I'm going to be cooking a roast in a tube top with a whiskey on ice for my man before "sexy time," isn't that good for, I dunno, at least a 50% discount on my part of the rent?
IKR? Shit, if my husband left his fiancee and two kids for me, I'd be doing my best to be sure he didn't have a reason to go looking for some on the side AGAIN.