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Five Things Guaranteed to Turn Him On

Has this happened to you before? You're pumped and alive and you reach for your guy and he's just... dead. Lucky for you, this can be resolved easily. Follow these simply steps to have him turned on in no time. READ MORE

15 Cats That Are Leaning In

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Cosmo's "Hottest Texts to Send a Guy," Edited

"Fire off one of these very naughty 160-or-fewer-characters messages and your man will drop whatever he's doing to come see you." READ MORE

Lines From Songs That Are Fun to Repurpose When You’re Playing Settlers of Catan

“We built this city, we built this city on rock and wheat.”  READ MORE

The Best Things to Do

The best thing to do when your boyfriend tries to break up with you is to plead for one last request: ask him to conduct the conversation in triple negatives. Say, “This is the one thing you can do for me as you don’t not unbreak my heart.” It might not work, especially if you're into college grads, but it does increase the chances of an inadvertent reconciliation by at least 30 percent. READ MORE

50 Shades of Grey

An exclusive look at the list that women everywhere are masturbating to! READ MORE

Reality TV of the Middle Ages

Survivor The entire village of Yalding gets the black plague and perishes, including one farmer’s daughter whom many thought was too beautiful to die. READ MORE

Imaginary Lines From an Imaginary 9/11 Sex and the City Episode

“Meanwhile uptown, Samantha was having a few explosions of her own.” READ MORE