Hmm. I wonder if you could start small, by saying almost exactly what you said here: "It's been getting kind of annoying for me to move my stuff back and forth X times a week for the past two years. How would you feel about maybe clearing out a drawer for me?" Hopefully he'll be willing to make things more convenient for you in that regard, and not interpret it as you encroaching on his space. Depending on his reaction, you can then try to use it as a diving board into a more intense conversation. Make sure he feels like he won't be attacked for saying the wrong thing; he's more likely to be open and honest that way. And if he seems like he's never even considered it after two years together, then unfortunately, he's probably unlikely to change his mind in another few years. Lots of factors come into play here, like age, finances, psychological issues, etc. but that's just how I would handle it if I were in your shoes. I know it isn't easy to give your all in a relationship and feel like you aren't having your needs met, but if that ends up being the case, trust me, there are plenty of other potential partners out there who will give you all the good stuff your current boyfriend is giving you, who also wouldn't dream of making you lug around your belongings for another minute!
Congratulations on your epiphany. I've heard people say that it helps to think of themselves as being on their own side. Like, imagine you are two separate people who are best friends to the max. Then look at all the self-abuse that you're putting yourself through, which is probably a result of unexpressed anger turned inward. If someone were treating your BFF that way, you'd probably stand up for him or her. So now it's time to stand up for yourself! (Not to imply that you self-abuse or anything, just saying that holding in your anger is a really tough thing to deal with and it can manifest in a variety of painful ways.) But those moments of clarity are the best, 'cause you can't fix what you don't realize needs fixing! Go on, unleash your pent-up wrath! Just let me move out of your way first :)
I am extremely non-confrontational, so I couldn't imagine telling someone else what to say or not say, regardless of how insulting I find their comments. When people have made exclamations about my weight, I've occasionally found myself saying that I've had stomach troubles or food allergies. (This isn't really a lie because I do sometimes try to avoid certain foods to see if I have more energy.) I feel like this kind of "medicalizes" the weight loss instead of glamorizing it, and makes it more taboo to talk about. Anyway, not sure if this is at all helpful to your situation, but that's probably how I would handle it since I'm not so great at standing up for myself. It would also be totally within your rights to tell them to STFU!
I ended up in the ER in excruciating pain from this a couple of years ago and after TONS of testing was told by a doctor to avoid carbs and drink more water. Seems overly simplistic but sometimes certain foods can cause inflammation in the body and once you eat cleaner, you feel better. Not an easy fix, I know, but maybe it'll help a little? Good luck.
Oh! I almost forgot to re-post this from yesterday:
Autoimmune disorders! Advice, experiences, diets, NY-based doctors?
Ah! Thank you so much for your response! And it's funny, I happen to live very close to that hospital. I will definitely check him out. Thank you again!
No one is going to read this way down here so I will try to post again tomorrow if I can. But I can't resist Thursday Open Thread! Here goes:
Does anyone here have an autoimmune disorder and want to share their experiences? Also, can you recommend a NY-based doctor that specializes in autoimmune disorders (and perhaps diet-based ways to feel better so I don't have to take lots of pills)? Thank you thank you thank you in advance!
Ugh yes, or "I think you need to ride in a child safety seat!"
I once had a 5'6 acquaintance say to my face that she always wears high heels because she "hates being short." There are just no words sometimes...
I am under 5 feet, and my smallness is what prompted me to write my first Hairpin FOT post! Yes, being little brings up so many Feelings, especially when other people think it's okay to comment on your size. Regardless of what they're implying (anything from "you're supercute!" to "I'm not going to take anything you say seriously because you are child-sized!") it's still objectification and it's totally rude.
That being said, I'm not sure how to properly navigate it or call people out on it because as you mentioned, most people don't think it's a big deal. I'm really shy so I usually just make a dopey face when people say something that makes me uncomfortable, but maybe you could think of a witty comeback--something like "Having fewer body cells means that my risk of becoming terminally ill is significantly lower than yours." (um, you might want to double-check the accuracy of that particular quote first though because I read it on the Internet--but it did actually make me feel better about being short!)
Anyway, not sure if my perspective on things has helped at all, but good luck telling those body-snarkers to shove it!
@Queen of Pickles
I heard (somewhere on the Internet/I am not a doctor) that hormones can affect your mucus or something? Like, you are more prone to sinus infections and allergy attacks and stuff when you are PMSing. Thanks, nature!
P.S. Feel better soon!