Cocaine causes leprosy... pillows cause leprosy... the next thing you know they'll say the mixture of gin and tonic results in the loss of one random appendage per serving.
@kmc Oh, it was thespark.com. They eventually transformed that thing into okcupid, grandfathering everyone that took the "okcupid" test.
@Too Much Internet That's me to a T! Well, that, and doing the same thing and messaging them two minutes later with alcohol-infused wit.
@DrFeelGood Microwave, perhaps? Slather was the wrong word, I'll admit, but I love the word slather, so I'll just keep it there.
Anyway, Swiss has a lot of holes, so you can only imagine how the individual with names like swiss-cheez-4u maneuvered the stuff around his stuff.
Oh god, this is a can of worms right here. So many a'misadventure through this okcupid business, including the worst date I've ever been on (which also happened to be my first). Needless to say, she got wasted, began half of her stories with "I shouldn't be telling you this, buuuuuut" and revealed that she had cheated on her now exhusband. He took the photos she had online, which was later revealed to be over four years old. She looked nothing like them. Nothing.
What I want to know how many commenters have put together a google doc with the horrid details of e-suitors. While living in Philadelphia my tribe and I had quite the extensive spreadsheet detailing ladies and lads whom had dates with one person and attempted to get with another, sent first messages with a photo of his penis slathered in swiss cheese, and which dude would refer to his date as his girlfriend (while they were on their second date).
Online dating is the worst. And the best. I hope I can completely delete my award winning profile off of okstupid sooner rather than later.
Is this still going down? I love cake! Let's do this!
I sense a future fashion makeover column by Mary for dudes without knowhow or fundage to support the looks she lusts over.