On This is a Safe Space to Talk About Your Dissertation
@sudden but inevitable betrayal I honestly, sincerely, truly never intend to read my thesis again. My computer crashed, and I have all the drafts saved in emails, but I would have to go searching for it and WILL NOT EVER DO IT.
0
On This is a Safe Space to Talk About Your Dissertation
@max bread I tried to write my undergrad honors thesis the same semester I found myself suddenly working full-time as a high school teacher on a community expert license. I basically spent the semester crying. (I passed, but only with a B-, which was the lowest grade of my college career)
Also, when I turned one of my last drafts in, I had my advisor passively accuse me of cheating because I had saved the document as "LeishHayHayati" which is Arabic for "Why is this my life?" and my advisor thought it was someone elses name. So I had to explain that...
1
On Girls I Have Loved for One Moment
@Passion Fruit I didn't imagine they were all caucasian - only a few mention skin/hair color. They do mainly have caucasian names, but so do many of my friends of other heritages. It's hard to know and we are probably all picturing other people based on who we thought that way about, which is part of why I think it's so powerful.
3
On GTFO, Prom
@thundertheft No they are not. I'm those kids (I'm 23). I teach high school, and these are my students. They know the economy sucks, but they all still think that they will be the exception. Also, they think you can "get any sort of job with a college degree, you don't have to work in your major" and other Quaint Myths from their parent's generation.
5
On GTFO, Prom
I graduated in 2007 and I didn't go to senior prom because it was so expensive junior year (and my parents made me pay) that I was like "no thank you I'm not doing that again". It seemed like a lot of money to pay for a lot of drama. My costs junior year:
$60 ticket
$60 limo
$20 dinner (I got the cheapest option)
$200 dress
$45 shoes
$50 updo + tip
So...almost 500 dollars? I went to high school in a wealthy suburb, so I spent less than my friends, most of whom got their dresses altered (I used double-sided tape to stick my dress to me so it wouldn't fall off). Still I can't imagine spending almost a months worth of rent 5 years later on one evening.
That's the thing with teenagers, if they have a job, they have incomprehensible quantities of expendable income and no real bills yet.
4
On Everything You Need to Know About Online Dating
@sox Yeah I don't get the "lazy lonely bastards" thing. I met my current boyfriend (we've almost been together a year now) on OkCupid. I went on the site because all of my friends were in relationships, or on OkCupid themselves. Everyone I know from my personal circle is pretty cool and successful (a judgment I'm not at all biased in regards to, I'm sure). After a few dates, the boy and I discovered we actually had a bunch of the same friends IRL, but we might never have been introduced through them because they were all coupled-off friends who didn't tend to throw gigantic parties. And STILL occasionally when we remember that we met through the internet, the boyfriend will be all in awe like "why were YOU ever on a dating site? you're so good looking, I bet men asked you out all the time!" (he isn't biased either).
Well, yes, I got asked out in real life. But why not get asked out online too? I was single, I wasn't going to limit my options. Do what you're comfortable with. For me, the big benefit to online dating is it's pretty upfront. There's much less "does he like me? does he like me only as a friend? is he asking me to book readings because we met at a language conversation group and he knows we have similar interests or might he want to sleep with me too?" internal dialogue.
3
On On Second Chances
@blahstudent I studied/had internships abroad 3 times during college. I saw long distance kill literally over a hundred relationships among my classmates. Some do make it and stay great! And that might be you! But the odds seem undeniably against it for most people.
Is this okay, as I'm not extrapolating from my personal experience in an LDR as much as from the observation of all of my peers in LDRs?? This is science right? Anecdotes = data, I'm pretty sure.
3
On On Second Chances
@WaityKatie My favorite was when my rapist wrote me an apology facebook message four years later, saying "sorry for that night freshman year" and wanted to explain how he had joined the military and was a much better person now. I blocked him. Then next semester his wife was my assigned partner in my senior honors course. Fun times!!!
2
On In the Walls
@SarahP My mom is really into geneology, and when she was researching one of my great great great grandmothers (I'm not sure on the quantity of greats) she became suspicious that our catholic ancestor had started killing off the newborns so she could feed the rest of the children. She was even brought in at one point to investigate if she was feeding the youngest kiddos arsenic. I don't know what else my mom found, but she seemed pretty certain that was the case. (this would be very early 1900ish)
So, yeah. Birth control and choice, people! Because while I think that is horrifying and hope that infanticide is not how I would react if I were a mom at the turn of the century with no access to birth control and more children than I could feed/care for - I can see how a person might resort to that rather than watch all of their offspring slowly starve to death.
3
On Never-Complainers, Workaholics, and the Balding-and-Manly
LW1: I think I am probably like your fiance. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year, and have never had a proper fight, and I am TOTALLY OKAY WITH THAT (although now I am worried that maybe he thinks I'm secretly full of bottled up rage? I'm not!)
I've also never had a proper fight with my best friend. I think once, she had said she would go to the grocery store with me and then went with her boyfriend instead and I was angry with her for a day? But then she apologized and I apologized and that was the only time since we were roommates freshman year that we fought, and we didn't fight, we both just felt bad for a day...
I DO fight with people who are fighters, but I prefer people who are not? Like, I don't think I am a doormat. I have taken part in fights when necessary. But I know when I am with the right friend/man because they have the same approach I have - we both actively try not to hurt or anger the other person, we tell how we feel or what bugs us.
It isn't that I don't annoy my boyfriend, I DO, and I know exactly how: I'm bad at time-management, don't read directions, squeeze the toothpaste wrong, etc. And he knows that he sometimes drives me crazy by: being controlling in the kitchen, inviting me over and then studying all night (he is a grad student). But we've never argued about these things. We talk about it, are both aware of and own up to our imperfections, and try to fix it.
Maybe this is not what you mean, but I DO think that people have different levels of comfort with fighting as a way to resolve conflict (it is not the only way). When a conversation with my SO reaches the point that we are fighting, something has gone wrong.