@muddgirl Pretty much every wedding I have ever been to had a dollar dance. I did not realize that this is a regional custom... I loved dollar dances as a little kid because it was the only time I wasn't intimidated to talk to my cousin (or whoever was getting married) who looked all fancy and weird.
I started getting migraines in elementary school, and I still do, but MUCH more rarely. I've figured out that for me, the most important thing I can do is keep to a regular sleeping/eating schedule. They tend to pounce when I am sleep deprived and starving. (I once read a research article that said this is pretty common with migraine sufferers, because the brain is more reactive to stress?...or something)
My migraines sometimes start as sudden vertigo - I feel like I'm drunk, only it will be in the middle of work and I'm sober. If I don't catch it, the pain gets really bad. On occasion, they hurt so bad I throw up, although more often than not I'm just miserable. Light hurts, and it is really hard to focus on anything else. I will sometimes find myself crying or silently bargaining with God (which is kind of embarrassing, because I definitely do not believe in a personal intervening God - but man, when you can think of nothing but pain, things get weird).
I did see a neurologist at one point, when I was suffering from rebound headaches from too frequently medicating my migraines with ibuprofen, and she rotated me through a bunch of the migraine treatments until I found one that works. I'm bad about keeping it on hand though, because insurance doesn't cover it and I always run out of packs or am without it when the migraine hits.
@ clara morena I am a high school teacher, and while it is not THE WORST job I could imagine having (worst: temp worker in data entry at a bank), it does cause me so much anxiety that I am often sick to my stomach in the morning before work. It is just constant interaction with people, running between classrooms, and madness. And while I like working with people, you have to be an extrovert to the max. I am so antisocial when I am done teaching.
On “This book is a warning of how bad things can get for a single man looking for beautiful, feminine, sexy women"
@Bebe I'm pretty sure it worked on me when I was 16 (by a high-school aged peer) because teenage girls are pretty much exactly the insecure demographic for which the technique is designed.
The only time I have seen an adult try it on me, it was via OKCupid messages, and it just puzzled me (prior to being ignored).
@Passion Fruit My dad grew up in a pretty conservative family and has very clearly struggled throughout my life with changing gender roles. He used to volunteer at my elementary school with the PTA (he worked nights, while my mom worked days, so someone could always be home with us). The women in the PTA made fun of him for being the only man there, and he just kept showing up (thus providing his daughters with a great example of defying sexist expectations).
He was always sort of anti-feminism, in that he though feminism = bra-burning man haters, until I went to college. I studied a lot of international gender issues, and after arguing with my dad I eventually caught him re-employing all of my points in a Facebook argument.
I think he is a great hope story, because he has totally not been a perfect intersectional feminist all of his/my life, but he takes seriously all of our conversations and is open to changing his mind :)
@zamboni Do you have any non-bedbug-infested friends in the area? That sounds like the worst, and a definite situation that justifies finding somewhere else to stay immediately, using all networking skills available.
@adorable-eggplant I also vote portabello mushroom stack OR eggplant parmesan. I have rarely had good pasta at a wedding, and I feel like vegetarian pasta is the most common go-to. Also, they don't tend to be especially filling.
@laurel Yes, definitely see a doctor if you think it is depression!
I think sometimes we tend to categorize every big sad slump as depression though, even when there is a really clear non-brain-chemistry cause for feeling shitty. If you are pretty damn sure that your job is making you sad, and are not in a position to just quit your job, finding something else really can help. Even without bad bosses or crazy hours, work is still a GIGANTIC portion of the week. If you don't like it, especially if you are being bullied, that can legitimately drag you down for all the rest of the time.
I am trying to learn how to write an android application when I am not drinking away the summer. That shit is hard. Does anyone know of any good resources? Tech-y people keep telling me I just need to start doing it and the answers will come, but...I am struggling.
@A. Louise I do not so much have advice as an "I hear you" because I really hate my school-year job (teaching). I have spent a large chunk of free time this summer applying to non-teaching jobs. And crying. Which my boyfriend does not understand, because he is pursuing a job and a career he loves.
My plan for coping with this is going back to school! Which has tended to work so well for everyone who has gone before me. *snark*. Also, the video games and the drinking. But seriously, I think you have it when you said take a class or get involved in something else. This job is dragging you DOWN. Find something outside of the job to also focus on and be proud of. I started doing boxing classes in the evenings, which gave me the courage to do a masters degree at night, so I can see some sort of end to my current job. Don't go all the way to the professional ambition - find an intermediate interest that is simply something to look forward to that is not your job. I found an interest where I got to punch things a lot helpful, but do what you love.
Don't worry about the big picture right now, just try to find a buoy.