This is lovely. And it's useful advice even for people like me - people who are emphatically NOT happiest when alone, but who are currently alone.
@Emma Carmichael Emma, is this just a straight-up hometown pride kind of thing, or do you have JoJo stories for us?
Jia! I have some interview suggestions...I'm aiming high, but I have faith in y'all's Rolodex!
*Beau Willimon, about the new season of "House of Cards"
*Emma Forrest, about her new columnist gig with Elle UK (and is the movie version of "Your Voice in My Head" EVER coming out?!)
*Katie Sokoler - such a cool artist, and her blog hasn't been updated in a year! What's she up to these days?
*Maybe a "where are they now" about some female artists - Krystal Harris, Stacie Orrico,
I'd also love to see an article about female diplomats - I've been rereading stories about Anne Smedinghoff, and I don't think the 'pin has run a feature about her story?
Kumail Nanjiani really nailed it with this Tweet: "I wish I was as cool and smart as Kristen Stewart thinks she is."
@Casanova Frankenstein Ahhh, I'm very touched that you came back and commented!
I think you and I are in a pretty similar place. I am not gonna be sad to see 2013 end, because it wore me the fuck out.
I also had a heartbreak, a really protracted one - rereading this piece, I cried a bit at the line about the people who just aren't for you. There is still so much caring between us, and it's going to diminish - we aren't getting back together, we can't stay the way we are (way too enmeshed), so I had to voluntarily start the process of becoming someone he used to know. There are still times that reality hits me in the face, and I remain stunned by it.
I've tried talking to two close friends about it, and they just weren't interested. I know they think I'm lazy, or weak, and maybe they're right. Most days, I absolutely agree with them.
But I don't know what else to say, other than, it's exhausting to walk around with such a sense of dread. Maybe everyone does, and they're just better at handling it than I am.
But I've spent so much of this year thinking of a line from Emma Forrest's memoir - "I feel the waters rising up around my heart. They don't stop. This is my last breath, this is my last heart. I'm searching frantically for an air pocket."
I'm sorry I don't have any words of advice, only commiseration. But I think what you said was right - we may have the painful stories, but they're also a form of preparation.
(And on the bright side - having read through the "Worst Things a Significant Other Has Said" post - I'm a little less scared of dating a douchebag! An angry dumping would be *heaven* after the anguish of this dragged-out, love-doesn't-conquer-all mess.)
Such sad news about Ned Vizzini. I only have a passing familiarity with his work, but it sounds like he was a genuine, caring man who fought a hard battle.
Team Laptop On Tummy. I'm sure my eggs are getting fried, but eh, my kids were gonna be weird anyway.
Man, maybe I'm way off base, but I think it's kind of sweet. My mom remarried when I was in elementary school, and there was no real acknowledgement of the relationship between me and my stepdad. He basically saw me as his wife's annoying roommate, who wouldn't be moving out until the lease was up (in another 10 years or so). A conversation like this would've meant a lot to me. Caring stepdads for the win!
(I think it spoils little to say the marriage, and the eventual divorce, were disastrous.)
@bonymaroni "Devoid of charm or humor" is the perfect way to put it. I mean, Emma and Bobby, did this...accomplish what you'd hoped?
@megmurray What a lovely story! Thanks for sharing :) I'm so glad y'all are happy!