My dog and I met when I was doing relief work after last year's tornadoes in southwest VA and northeast Tennessee.
We'd gone into Glade Spring to start clearing parts of people's houses out of the road and look for people who were missing, and I go into this halfway flattened house and there's a mattress over the bathtub. Two walls are gone, but the mattress is still on top of the bathtub. That's one of the things they tell you to do in tornadoes: get in the tub and put your mattress over you. So I'm freaking out because I'm pretty sure there's a person under there who's suffocated by now. But when I flip the mattress over, there's this dog.
God, I'm getting teary. It was a female, and maybe seven or eight months old. Her tail's broken clean off to about two inches from her butt, and she's in pain and dehydrated, but she's this beautiful espresso-and-white thing that might be some kind of awkward ugly border collie/pit bull mix with freckles on her nose, and I took her out of the bathtub and cleaned her up and she is so perfect and we've been together ever since. Her name's Robin now. She's crazy and barky and thinks wind is the devil, but she is a GOOD DOG.
The people who lived in that house died. But they put their dog in the bathtub because, presumably, they loved her as much as I do.
@Myrtle All of those things
If you were to write Felicity/Ben fanfic....
...I would read it.
On the other hand, I wish I could get back the scattered piecemeal hours I spent in hand-to-hand combat with The Night Circus.
a) Elf on the Shelf is creepy as fuck.
b) My dad is a large dude with a big beard that has been steadily becoming whiter as he gets older. A few years ago we were at Trader Joe's a couple days before Christmas and a little kid in another cart went "SANTA???"
As we passed their cart and rounded the corner, my dad says, in a voice just loud enough for the kid to hear, "Ho ho ho!" I could hear the delighted gasp in the next aisle.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose I am happy with that sentence if corrected to read "...when I notice someone attractive, I'm still curious about what the sex would be like. We're [human]. It's what we do."
I really hope I'm not breaking some lady-code here, but.... some of us women live alone in squalor as well. And definitely some of us are just sloppy.
You know, for the record.
@parallel-lines I would make nag face all the time if my husband didn't tell me he had cancer. And when he finally told me and I tried to help by getting him the best doctor in town and taking him to a support group, he became increasingly distance and unappreciative. And then he wouldn't talk to me about anything, so I had no idea that he had turned down a generous offer from his rich friends to cover all the medical expenses. So the only thing I can do is go back to my old job, even though I'm 6 MONTHS PREGNANT. Thank god Ted has the hots for me, so it doesn't matter that I'm good at my job. So good, I uncover his massive tax problems. But hey, at least it's a problem I can fix, unlike Walt's cancer.
Getting a real strong "cockroach alien from Men In Black wearing a skinsuit" vibe off these answers.
By noodge on #6, Hart Bochner
idris elba got robbed on that list.