By Futon Revolutionista on The Bestworst Guy

The bestworst was a dirty-haired punk rocker I met on the bus. He was a 16-year-old dropout who worked at a factory; I was a 17-year-old straight-A student. The first time he looked at me with his blue blue blue eyes, I stopped breathing for a second. He showed me his new Crass records; I started listening to Rancid (not even in the same ballpark but I figured I had to start somewhere). We talked about social justice and politics and zines and I thought he was so profound. I postponed our first date because I had a big sociology project; he blew me off because there was an all-day show in a field somewhere and he didn't call for a week. In the meantime, I found out through a mutual friend that he liked to fuck 14-year-olds in bathrooms at YMCA shows and didn't shower. ("How did you not notice that he doesn't shower?!" she asked. I was that smitten.) I cried and moved on. Ran into him at the end of the summer and he told me he was moving to Santa Cruz the next day. We had a beautiful, perfect goodbye scene. I later found out he never actually moved - as usual, it was all talk. And Out Come The Wolves is still one of my favourite albums.

Posted on March 13, 2013 at 1:23 am 1

By Tammy Pajamas on The Bestworst Guy

@SeaMoney Hmmm... I made a joke at the end there about getting off my soapbox now and my hips creaking in the process, but it disappeared because apparently I don't know how the Internet works.

Posted on March 12, 2013 at 2:19 am 2

By Tammy Pajamas on The Bestworst Guy

@SeaMoney Ahh! Thank you. And please don't kiss your space pen guy. When I dated my space pen guy, he had the effect your space pen guy does on other ladies. It caused some fights between us, even though he wasn't really doing anything to egg them on (they were writing flirty things on his (dating myself!) Friendster that he didn't really respond to) and just made me feel kind of bad, until I realized he was a good space pen guy (I'd bet that most of them are). Anyway, don't put him in a tough situation, just crush on and respect him from afar. Because right now he sounds like a Best guy, but if you get entangled with him, he might become a Worst guy.

Posted on March 12, 2013 at 2:17 am 3