By Urwelt on 8 Headlines That Sound Like Upworthy, But Are Simply Attempts To Express My Withering Contempt For That Collective of Neo-Liberal Douchebags
Upworthy roadblocks are the "do you have a minute for the environment" street fundraisers of the internet world.
By a runner in the garden on 8 Headlines That Sound Like Upworthy, But Are Simply Attempts To Express My Withering Contempt For That Collective of Neo-Liberal Douchebags
Hate-clicking "disagree" on the pop-up, every time
By Florence on Boy-Crazy But Curious, Dating While Disabled, and Introducing Parents to Your "New Norm"
A Queer Chick's advice to is amazing and wonderful as always, but I would also add to LW1 that sometimes there really is an unexplainable gap between what you actually are into and what you fantasize about. And that's ok and not weird and doesn't mean you're closeted! (I mean, you MIGHT be, and that's cool, too). I say this as a certified lesbian who sometimes fantasizes about men, but finds sleeping with them pretty damn unappealing.
Also, I think as you get more sexual experience, your fantasy life/real sex life start to sync up a bit-- when you're just starting to explore your sexuality you don't have many created memories to extrapolate from, and you don't actually have real-time feedback about what makes you feel good with another person, so you sometimes default to generalized erotic situations. That is my amateur assessment based on my own experience, anyway.
Hairpin comments are getting absurd. I thought this was really funny.
@Laughable Walrus I once knew* a girl who had drink #4. It led to a summer-long fling but it also led to the girl stumbling into another lady on the way out of the bathroom, apologizing profusely and then realizing that "another lady" was HER OWN REFLECTION IN A MIRROR.
Drink #3 is SO DANGEROUS. I mean, according to a friend.
LW2: THAT IS MAJORLY FUCKED UP PLEASE GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.
@Jinxie Surely at some point all of the lube in the world would help.
By leonstj on Ask a Clueless Lady
@Lily Rowan - I don't know of anyone who has ever even seen a dental dam outside of sex ed in high school.
It's a fact that terrifies me in general. Aaaand veering deeply into TMI land - I kind of hate the fact that mouth-stuff is like, generally considered to be gateway sexual activity, partially because of that, but partially other reasons too?
Like, it's just so much 'safer' to have protected intercourse than a bunch of mouth stuff is, so to me, it would make sense to safe that stuff for after you know & trust someone?
Also, for me, and maybe this is different cuz I'm a dude, but mouth stuff, either direction, seems so much more intimate than intercourse? Like, "hey, I am doing a thing which isn't like, inherently physically pleasurable for me, but I want to do it because I like what it does to you etc" is AWESOME and a thing I am whole-heartedly an advocate of. And the fact that it's not tied to procreation at all and is just some weirdo thing humans do because we like to figure out weird shit that feels nice is rad. I'm ALL FOR IT.
BUT I just totally don't like that you seem like a weirdo for being DTF pretty early (I mean, I don't have any 'guidelines' on when it should happen in the course of dating, but if it feels like the right time after your first drink together, I'm not gonna judge, so, ya know) but wanting to maintain mouth-on-junk activities until you actually like, CARE about each other.
I guess it's also cuz I like having some stuff saved for SPECIAL SPECIAL relationships, and sticking to plain old bangin' (plus some hands stuff too, I'm not a monster!) for people who are special enough to go to bed w/, but not like FOR REALSIES yet.
All of that said, I'm a dude, and as long as me & a ladyfriend haven't been hanging out with John Jonah Jameson too much, I'm gettin' mine either way, so it's a lot easier to hold that position.
@Lily Rowan Just saying "I want you to come" usually works, in my experience. I think the "I want..." thing is maybe kind of hot? I don't know.