@yellowshoes Yes! And I think also, a lot of people turn the lack of self-care in their lives into just another thing to beat themselves up about. I have soooo many friends who decide they're going to make big changes like going to the gym five times a week, or cooking all organic meals, and it becomes just another thing to feel guilty about not accomplishing. I sometimes even think self-care is a bad term for it because it puts all the responsibility on the individual-- it can become like, well, if you can't be awesome at your job AND do yoga and be totally self confident and happy all the time, you must really be worthless! It's important to remember that our society sets us up to fail at this, and taking care of yourself is in many ways a radical act, and the more we take care of ourselves the better we can take care of each other.
@yellowshoes This is such an interesting point, and I'd never realized that before. People seem to be understanding of "YOLO I'M GONNA HAVE SIX BEERS TONIGHT!", but less so of 'I am going to leave the office after 8 hours of work and make myself a nice meal and not go out even though people want me to'. I think it's partly because people feel guilty about not doing enough of the sustaining self care themselves and see you doing it as a judgement on their lifestyle. . .but it's also just that our culture values busyness so much that we respect unhealthy behaviors more than healthy ones.
Well, I completely and utterly lost my shit at "Arkinkos Del Tonto" and now everyone in my office is lookingat me like I'm insane.
"There are entirely too many people out there behaving as though “I’m not looking for a serious relationship” is a get-out-of-being-a-considerate-human-being-free card, leaving emotional wreckage in their wake, and I don’t want you to be one of them.People that you are casually dating and/or casually having sex with deserve to be treated like real people, even if you’re not interested in them as romantic partners. Think of your casual hookups as “a friend I sometimes see naked,” not “a sex person who is literally only for sex.”"
Do you think people would react poorly to me printing that out on a postcard and handing it to them when they suggest a casual relationship? Because that might be the only thing that makes me even feel like bothering anymore.
On Riding the Staten Island Ferry for the Sake of Riding of the Staten Island Ferry on a Wednesday Afternoon
Having recently left a period of unemployment, I say: Bullshit. You watched 14 episodes of Frasier and fell asleep on the 15th. I KNOW YOU.
Way to make me hate the thing that is currently curing my hangover, UGH.
@themegnapkin This might be due to living somewhere where I rely on public transportation, but I prefer my place so as to minimize public weeping.
@RachelTheC And that someone else is driven wild by the way every NYTimes article headline is formatted "For____, ____". "For the elderly, death!" "For Millennials, Waffles!"
@Quinn A@twitter Yeah, I think it's hard to really know what's happening exactly-- but to me, it's perfectly fine to be closer to one person and talk mostly to them, but if you meet their partner you should at least make a friendly effort to get to know them, and include them in conversations when it makes sense to do so. The 'eye contact' bit of the sentence makes it sound like the girl is actively leaving her out of the conversation when she's sitting right there, which is real rude.
@Quinn A@twitter I hear that, but I feel like AQC made it sound like it was ALL in the LW's head and the girl had done nothing wrong: she actually says 'she's been a little rude to you, sure, but she hasn't really done anything wrong.'Ignoring your friend's partner when you're all hanging out is more than a little rude-- I feel like this girl definitely has some jealousy issues, but being told it's all in her head when it probably isn't is not going to help anything.