Yes, that is a picture of a prosthetic camel toe. You want one, don't you?
This piece is SO well written! The voice reminds me of David Sedaris, as does the construction style wherein every paragraph is really a tiny short story that could stand alone if it wanted to. Love it, and can't wait to read more from Sarah Kasbeer.
Let's see, this guy is a total asshole but the woman falls in love with him anyways, convinced he can be saved by the power of her sweet, sweet love? No thanks. I'm totally over that story line, both in fiction and in my own life. Please show me movies about fully-developed, emotionally-intelligent men who treat women as whole persons worthy of respect. Love is NOT all you need. Kthx.
@ backstagebetty @Mira: Native Alabamian here. There's a difference between what's taught (what's officially taught in high schools), and what's learned (the cultural excuses Southerners tend to make for hanging on to cultural artifacts connected to white privilege/slavery/the Civil War/"Lost Cause" style romanticism of the antebellum period). Backstagebetty's original comment shows evidence of the persistence of this belief in the South, that it's somehow still okay to be pro-Confederacy (and fly the rebel flag) because "the Confederacy was pro state's rights, not slavery," and thus it's simply a matter of Southern Pride. (backstagebetty I don't mean to say that you believe this. I suspect that you are repeating information you've heard about the Civil War, and I happen to know that this is misinformation that is still widespread in the South.)
It's just one of the many logical fallacies contained in this song, but it is an honest and accurate representation of widespread rural-Southern views on modern-day race relations.
And having said all of that, that "natural" mascara still contains Sodium Hydroxide, which is LYE!!! Having fun rubbing lye into your eyelashes! /shakes head
And re: "natural" doesn't mean better and "chemical" doesn't mean bad, yes, we learned that in the '90's. We're all right there with you. That doesn't mean that some chemicals (and particularly petro-derivatives) aren't harmful to humans and planet. And that doesn't mean that it's not a good idea to seek out alternatives to these products. And it is not incorrect to call these alternatives "natural," when that refers to using options which occur in nature as part of a natural process (like using lactofermentation rather artificial preservatives) rather than being created as an industrial byproduct and tested on animals to find ways to profit from them by selling them as cosmetic ingredients, which is the current norm. In many cases the old-fashioned "natural" method is in fact healthier than the artificial manufactured "product." Cynicism is not a good substitute for critical thought.
Um, wow. I can't believe all the snark re: natural products. I mean, sure, you don't have to buy her expensive stuff, okay. But the cosmetics industry is horribly unregulated, and is getting away with murder. Even supposedly natural cosmetics are generally full of harmful chemicals. Parabens mimic estrogen; this is documented and you can feel free to google that shit if you don't believe me. Do you actually need to lather your face with synthetic estrogen every day to get it clean or soft? No! Do you think that's going to have positive long term effects on your health as a woman? Maybe read some science!
This industry is selling us a bunch of garbage that we don't need to be healthy or beautiful, and which might actually be making us unhealthy and less beautiful! And women everywhere are continuing to buy this garbage because it's dressed up in pretty packaging; it has a nice fragrance or color. Because we want to believe the lie they are selling, that this vat of harmful chemicals is actually a tiny affordable luxury that we can buy to feel happier and prettier. We're buying the lifestyle. It is a lie.
This isn't some chemophobic, "natural is better" scientifically unsound thinking. This is highly documented, folks! But you have to seek out that information on your own, because the companies getting rich selling you this shit are certainly not advertising it. It's not being regulated by journalism, or by orgs like the FDA or EPA. You are on your own in terms of arming yourself with info, but the info is available.
I'm truly shocked to see how many people apparently aren't aware of this fact and trying to find personal solutions for it on a daily basis.
I like this AND it rhymes! That doesn't usually happen.
Yup, I love everything about this. She inspires me!
Ben! Are you reading these comments? I have feedback for you; I hope that's welcome?
1. For someone who struggles with wanting to take words at face value, your statements in this interview are riddled with the most WONDERFUL, visual metaphors! Do you write creatively? Maybe consider doing that more, especially about your unique life experiences (as you did here, even though you didn't "write" this down). Your voice is poignant and vulnerable and relatable. And valuable.
2. I think that you will someday end up on a date with a woman who has the ability to be disarming. She will sense your discomfort and be able to make you feel okay about it (she might just say "you seem so nervous, you don't need to be!" with a genuine smile), and then you will be able to be honest and just talk about the fact that dating is hard for you, that you are afraid of alienating or offending her, that you have tried so hard to prepare in order to not do that. This level of honesty will come across as genuine (the scripted behaviors often just feel wrong to people, even if they can't point out why?). I suspect that being able to admit that you are struggling this way will allow you to move past that and actually enjoy the person you are with, enjoy the date activities you are sharing, and just relax in general. It will be fun.
3. Girls like this do exist. There are very many of them and you will run into them and the first one you encounter might not even be the last one you date!
4. You don't need to bring up the sexual abuse in your history ever; it's not something you owe to another person to tell them about. Just do that when and if you feel close enough to her to share that intimate information, if you feel the urge to do so. It's your story to do whatever you want with or nothing with. Yours.
5. On "when to bring up PPD," see #1 on this list. It will just come up naturally when you feel free to talk honestly about who and how you are with someone who is genuinely interested and comfortable with you.
6. Like others in this thread, I was so, so, so impressed by this interview. You come across as a wonderfully thoughtful, insightful, well spoken fellow. You will make a fantastic partner to someone who loves all of you, including your PPD ways.