As a postscript, the second after I sent this off I think we experienced maybe our best week to date postpartum. What a screwy thing.
I've been in a happy relationship for three years with a former professor.
I am guessing my incessant checking for/removal of split ends would also qualify as pathological grooming? (I'm gross)
@Briony Fields When I studied abroad in [major European city], I had a discussion with one of my friends's host families one night at dinner--like 3 American students and this (quite generous and lovely!) host family. Somehow we started talking about disabilities/access and one of us jaunty American students asked something along the lines of, "Have there been recent efforts to make this beautiful city more accessible to people in wheelchairs or with crutches? I don't see a lot of handicapped people out and about!" And the host parent laughed and said (I am not making this up) "Oh haha! We just don't have that many disabled people! Everyone here walks all the time and is healthy so we don't need wheelchairs! Haha. More bread?" And all of us students thought but did not say, "No, actually, you don't see them because THEYRE ALL STUCK IN THEIR FLATS."
By melis on The Billionaire
carolita teach me how to live
Nancy Drew and the Case of the Mutual Beards
75% --- Eating 12,000 per day
@antipretty It's been a little over four years since I was raped. I really like this post about how to respond to rape jokes as a rape victim.
Although I have no problem making other people uncomfortable, and talk more about my rape today (I felt like I wasn't allowed to when it happened, which was the worst, because I was hurting SO MUCH and I'm a major extrovert so trying to process those feelings alone compounded everything). However, I still mainly only share it with people I'm comfortable with and are fairly sure are not assholes.
So when someone makes a rape joke, I go with a confused look and ask the joke maker really sincerely "why is that funny? I don't get it. what's the joke?"
Since the joke is usually "rape is fun" or "women deserve to be raped", that makes people feel bad pretty quickly. Because even most jerks, who will willingly predicate a joke on the concept that "rape is fun", have trouble explaining that as a sentence.
By Springtime for Voldemort on People, Animals, and Inanimate Objects That Made Me Angry After My Rape
@antipretty Mine happened over half a decade ago. I've only had sex with one person in the past 5 years, and even then only for a few weeks, because I'm terrified of getting raped again. And I think about how your twenties are supposed to be this time of going out and having fun, of meeting and dating lots of people, of having tons and tons of sex, and can't help but feel that I'm wasting my youth. And I hate him for taking it away from me.
But I am with @Vonnegut Reference. If you act like a dick about rape, I will not hesitate to point out that rape survivors isn't some category of poor, sad women you never actually meet, but that you are talking to one right now and she is judging the shit out of you.
By wharrgarbl on Friday Open Thread
@Gone Away Lass How much time have you spent working in a library? I was thinking about getting an MLIS, but then I realized that the idea of spending the rest of my life around the more batshit insane of the librarian cohort (you know who you are) makes me instinctively reach for a bottle.