Book wrangler, writer, geek, yay!
Ugh, this is so me. I've had to come to terms with the fact that is largely my fault that I barely date at all. Emotional intimacy = my Waterloo. Therapy is helping, bit by tiny bit.
But I do have good experiences through OKC. I get my share of "hello gorgeous" emails that get mass sent, of course, but I've never gotten anything creepy or inappropriate. Most are tailored to my profile and engagingly written. And even though I have on there that I'm such a WW2 history geek that I've done pinup photoshoots, the only time that comes up is when guys ask me about my favorite aspect of the war. I mean, seriously? I am both super lucky and sort of feeling like I'm being left out!
@KatieBarTheDoor I love Bare Escentuals, but it took practice. They'll teach you, though. Ditto Lush - I actually don't like most of their makeup colors, so I only use bath, cleansers and lotions, but they will definitely take the time to teach you everything.
Stila came highly recommended to me by the makeup artist who got me all pretty for my last pin-up shoot. She raved about quality and pricing, and says she uses it for every day, photography and movie filming.
As mentioned above, I adore adore adore Benefit's mascara. It does amazing things for me.
@sherbet YAY! I hope you enjoy it. Report back if you can!
@sherbet @stonefruit I'm an Anne girl through and through, in that I want to be like her and I return to her whenever I need comfort. I understand Emily much more, though the one LMM heroine I most strongly identify with is Valancy, from The Blue Castle. She has Anne's dreams, but Emily's realism and a lot that is just her own.
Intellectually, I understand this. But emotionally, I cannot accept it. I snooze 3 or 4 times, I think. I don't usually fall back asleep, I just doze and daydream and use it as a gauge for how much longer until I have to drag myself out of bed.
Except for the days when I totally do sleep. Like today. Yawn.
@Quinn A@twitter YOU GUYS ARE SO GORGEOUS! Seriously. I still have a ridiculous grin on my face.
It is totally fine to email the photographer and point out the pictures you liked best and the angles you liked best and ask for tips on how to work with him to get more of the shots you liked. He wants you to love them, too, so he gets recommendations from you. It's in his best interests to make you feel your best, and he won't know what that is until you tell him.
As for seeing the joy, I had to totally police my thoughts when I got my pinup shots back. They were lovely! They totally showed how much fun I had! And there was my big thighs, and that was a bulge, and that was an awkward face and why didn't that scar get airbrushed out and and and. I had to tack on extra thoughts - but wasn't that a cute outfit? That was totally when I fell off the suitcase, wasn't it? My legs kicked ass in that dress! I can't stop myself from acknowledging the issue, but I can counter it with friendlier thoughts and now when I look at the pictures, I see both but focus on the positive. And that helped tremendously. Keep acknowledging the joy and memories that you see, because they are equally valid and soon that will be the overriding feeling. And display the ones that you really, totally love.
(Also, GOOD OMENS! I like you guys.)
Huh. I sort of love it, actually. It's weird, but I think it's a cool weird. The lotus flower on the link creeps me out a little, but that's because it looks like a lot of eyes, and a few of the animals do, but that's because I am freaked out by fish and sea animals. But the flowers and honeycomb and that thing up top? I totally want to touch them and feel all the bumps and caves.
....I am so evolutionarily screwed, apparently.
@Faintly Macabre Ugh! I get that. That's exactly my response, too. (Down to the near panic attack at trying to call me.)
That totally does help, a lot. We do have very different texting styles (his appears to be pretending that we are already dating and checking in 3-4 times a day, to which my response is, "We have met twice, I am not your little anything and why do you contact me more than my boundary-issued mother does???") But he is delightfully nerdy and sweet and not at all clingy in real life, so who knows? As long as our styles match up in person (and he understands that I'm going to ignore 75% of his texts?), maybe we're cool?
Thanks, guys. Checking in here is keeping me sane!
Hey, guys! I posted two weeks ago, nervous about a date and needing to reframe my mental script into something more positive. It totally worked (the suggestion of exercising was implemented by a dash to the train that left an hour earlier than planned!) and he was cute and adorable and I had a fabulous time. Thank you, guys, because I think your collective sanity and wisdom helped a great deal.
Now we've been texting for two weeks because he's been out of town and it's been progressively less fun - I like him so much in person and so very little over text! We're going out on Sunday and I am trying to cling to the sheer amount of fun I had last time and stay positive. It's not going well, but maybe I can make this work. Just gotta keep rewriting the mental script.