Donna : Ever year on Thanksgiving, the President pardons a turkey... and its your event.
CJ : Why are there two turkeys?
Donna : Customarily, the Press Secretary decides --
CJ : No.
Donna : -- which of the two finalists is more photogenic. Their names --
CJ : I don't want to know their names.
Donna : This one's Eric and this one's Troy.
Miss this show so much.
@I'm Right on Top of that, Rose He is of a rather impressive girth, yes. His dad is Cecil, which is pretty regal sounding itself, so it makes sense.
@Oliver St. John Mollusc Clearly, yes, you should blame your parents.
@meetapossum Seconding the "lol and tears forever" on that team being in first.
@Aspiriationally Natalie Can I just say...Bill Belichick is just, such a bastard. His last press conference, his every press conference. He is so disrespectful to the media even though talking to them is part of his job that he gets paid for. He's just...I really wish the media up there would team up on him cause the way he acts towards them is ridiculous. Such a bastard.
@capturethecastle Thing of it is, I don't think Haslett is a bad coordinator. He's had a lot of success in this league, I think it's just not working for whatever reason. I think they'll keep him at least one more season...but I have heard whispers about going after Wade Phillips, which I am just fine with.
@stonefruit I always say, the 4 most beautiful words in the English language are, "Pitchers and catchers report". Who is your team again? St. Louis?
@professionalmess This, exactly.
Sportsssssss SPORTS HAHA, YOU HATE ME DON'T YOU, SPORTS
We lost to the Eagles, hooray! We didn't show up til the 4th quarter, it was great! I'm not really sure why we even bother fielding special teams! Fucking swear to god.
Jameis Winston. Obviously, we don't know for sure what happened yet but, god, it's just again and again with athletes. Pro-tip: DO NOT read comments sections ANYWHERE, unless you want to hear about "how often college women 'cry rape'". Jesus fucking actual christ. Great/depressing piece on Deadspin:
Caps lost 4-zippy to the Pens, and I still hate Sidney Crosby.
Prince Fielder traded to the Rangers. Possibly because of "domestic issues". I...fucking hell.
I love sports but, my god, the culture of entitlement/violence/the list goes on, is...someone else finish this sentence, I'm too depressed.
But then again, sports are how I distract myself from being depressed! So! Tell me about your teams, you lovely people, you.
@laurel Ditto on this.