@aguacate To say nothing of how messed up private health insurance is, or how people work far longer hours than 9-5 with no overtime or how taking a lunch break is discouraged.
@aguacate *Grumbles with jealousy*
This is something that really bugs me about US companies. You'll still make plenty of money if we take an 5 days off over the course of an entire year, guys.
I am having a pretty Carrie Mathison kinda week and yeah...white wine and pills.
@aguacate And hardly any whipped cream!
By baked bean on Happy Thanksgiving
@aguacate Not to mention lightly-filled. Such a thin layer of pumpkin!
@aguacate That is an interesting point, because the only person I know who claims that all their exes are in love with them is definitely lying, to the extent that you just know she is stating that the dudes said things they definitely did not say. But if this lady is like *that* the whole thing is just EXTRA insane.
LW1, it sounds like an epic dramafest. Also it sounds like everything is based on fantasy, since as you say you are not the marriage and babies type anyway. So whatever those guys see in you is a reflection of their own fantasies, rather than based on a real sense of you and your needs. It is also sad and disgusting that they say these things to you while they are with other women. What a bunch of losers! In terms of letting them go, stop making contact with them. Cut them off. If you feel like you need attention, do something nice for yourself: learn a new language, take up knitting, run a bubblebath, fix yourself a nice meal, get your friends to give you a makeover - whatever requires the least amount of drama, and feels practical, real and nourishing. Because the drama won't fill the hole.
LW2, you say you're in relationship: how about asking your partner for an intimate head massage? Or giving them one, and seeing if you can replicate that amount of pleasure for him/her? The stylist is doing his job. You sound like being touched has awakened something in you - and that's not a bad thing. But following through with that probably doesn't belong with the stylist, who is just doing his job. Take it home, and play hairdresser with your partner, maybe and see what happens?
LW3, it's not your dude's fault you got the UTI. If the situation was reversed, would you feel OK with him blaming/resenting you for that? There's nothing wrong with wanting some comfort, as long as it's not secretly about blaming/resenting the other person. Maybe tell him you're feeling low and would appreciate some TLC? When I feel ill my boyfriend gives me cuddles, offers to fix me cups of tea, or to fetch me groceries if there's anything I need, and that helps me feel loved. I do the same for him when he feels ill, so it's balanced and again, it's not about secretly being resentful of the other person.
LW4, kind of like with the hair stylist situation: I would be inclined to treat your reaction as information about something you want, or something you enjoy, and then take that back to your relationship with your husband by seeing if you can find something similar with him. What would you need to do with your husband to leave the night on a lovely high?
Basically, I think if people are in a relationship, and then feel as if they get something elsewhere that makes them question things, there is information there which is useful, about what the person wants in a relationship. And the challenge then is to see what you can do in your existing relationship to play with that new information.
Or: the action that needs to be carried forward doesn't so much belong with the hair stylist, or the ex. They are the catalyst for something, but the container for whatever you do with that reaction needs to be the primary relationship. Then you don't have to feel guilty, or make overtures to your stylist. If for some reason it's difficult to do those things with your current partner, that then is more information and needs to be processed as well - but again, that is not so much about the stylist or the ex. Otherwise everyone ends up a bit like LW1's awful dudes, hanging their fantasy stuff on LW1, rather than investing in their current relationships.
Go for what's real. See what's possible there.
Who are these assholes that reconnect with their exes all the time?
Oh Christ, I just saw the headline "Is the 1% ruining Jamaica, mon?" NO. OUT. GET OUT. T&C, you are NOT allowed to use "mon".