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On Two Unrelated Statements

Elaine: It shrinks?
Jerry: Like a frightened turtle!
Elaine: Why does it shrink?
George: It just does.
Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

Posted on April 10, 2013 at 11:59 am 23

On Two Unrelated Statements

@melis

"Yes! I mean, if she thinks that's me she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me!"

Posted on April 10, 2013 at 11:57 am 0

On Two Unrelated Statements

@fondue with cheddar

"I may be small when flaccid, madam, but in the morning I will be hard and you will still be hairless."

--Winston Churchill

Posted on April 10, 2013 at 11:50 am 18

On Is He a Crazy Douchebag Wizard?

@Kevin Knox

Do you really think these parents are on the Road to Happiness?

I sure hope so.

But when they had a child, they made a life-long commitment to put the child's needs first. That doesn't mean staying together, or being unfulfilled; it means factoring the child's needs in, and putting them FIRST.

I don't get the impression that these people are doing that. I hope I'm wrong. I hope that, even if I'm right, it's just for now, and things change. After all, who hasn't been selfish at some point in their lives?

Posted on April 4, 2013 at 12:56 pm 1

On Is He a Crazy Douchebag Wizard?

If the small child could write a letter, what would it say?

"I need my mom and my dad, together or apart, because they're all I'll have for years and years to come?"

What would the advice be?

Dear Small Child,
As a small child, you have a right to be self-centered. It's part of your job. But you may never win with these people--they're bigger than you, and, from the look of it, paying most of their attention to other things. So, best of luck! Try to look cute for the next few years, it's your best shot.

Posted on April 3, 2013 at 4:46 pm 23

On Good Recent Questions From Discovery.com

@fondue with cheddar

I'm down with that.

"The tube-lipped nectar bat (Anoura fistulata), has the longest tongue of any mammal relative to its body size."

Posted on April 2, 2013 at 12:11 pm 3

On Good Recent Questions From Discovery.com

@fondue with cheddar

Maybe it's time to bat tongue down the hatch.

Posted on April 2, 2013 at 11:57 am 2

On Good Recent Questions From Discovery.com

@atipofthehat

"Sonar on it already!"

Posted on April 2, 2013 at 11:51 am 1

On Good Recent Questions From Discovery.com

@hallelujah

I've tried, but echolocate another pun.

Posted on April 2, 2013 at 11:50 am 1

On Good Recent Questions From Discovery.com

@hallelujah

I don't think she's going to cave.

Posted on April 2, 2013 at 11:30 am 5