Wandering (mediocre) designer.
I just heard about her last Friday on NPR! Love her voice.
@MissJudgeMental this sounds awesome, I hope it leads to date #2. I want to know a man owns his own garden.
@TARDIStime Thank you everyone! I'm gong to explore all of these options. i'm a bit drunk right now, but tomorrow I have an interview and tonight I drunkenly cried in front of bf mom and she was understanding, I am going to help teach the bf step-sibinlings (who are in town from Israel and speak no english and I speak no Israeli or russian), but my boyfriends mom can translate and I can help her and with the annoying children and also get a reprieve from him. And Vise Versa.
(Even though spending time with his mom will make him more angry. (She is quite manipulative.)
@adorable-eggplant Yes! There is an amazing botanical garden, I'll have to see if they have free times (the tickets are a bit pricey).
I need to find something to do on weekday evenings. Something out of the house.
I can surf the web or read at the coffee shop if need be :)
Yeah, I plan on moving/joining a yoga class asap, it just requires money. So that's been my first priority, and it's going well! It just takes time. In the mean time, i've been trying to make myself scarce so the boyfriend can decompress.
Thanks for letting me unload, and making me felt heard.
I've had a very mixed week.
I failed a class that has pushed back my graduation by a year (should have graduated by Spring 2014). My co-op fell through, and my boyfriend doesn't want to move in with me anymore (we're mostly fine just both very stressed, and moving in would probably make things worse. It's too soon really).
I've been feeling really down on myself for failing and messing everything up, and really lonely because I went from spending all my time with friends to moving to a new city (moving plans were already in place before I knew my co-op wasn't happening) where I don't know anyone except my boyfriend and he's feeling smothered, because despite the fact that we've decided not to live together, we're currently living together looking for separate places. AND UGH.
He's my best friend but I can't really even talk to him about it because I keep fucking CRYING (So. Annoying.) so he feels guilty and gives in to me. And I don't want to him to! I just want to tell him that I'm feeling lonely, but I totally understand he needs his alone time and he has been getting zero of it lately.
I tried to explain the difference between passive time together and active quality time, which made him feel guilty and angry and he cancelled his plans which made me feel angry and guilty for making him feel like he needed to do that. I don't want to be manipulative and pushy and controlling and I can't tell if I really am doing that or if he's just reacting to me as if I am.
On possibly related issue: He doesn't want to have sex lately, and I drunkenly reacted badly last night after being rejected again. (Well, no sex except for occasionally asking me to blow him. Which, I get it, you're stressed, don't feel so well, you just want to relax. But, no.)
On the good side: I had a job interview yesterday and got offered some contract work with the promise that it will lead to more if I do well, and I have an interview for a part time retail job Monday to hold me over in the mean time. Plus I do really love my boyfriend, and he loves me. We're just stressed.
@martinipie Valerie June, heard her on NPR. Not rock, but good. Very good.
@I Want To Go To There
I did this to request a paid internship and it worked out well. I had some prior knowledge of the organization, had met the director at an event (with no expectation that she would remember me), and I just went all out in my email. I'm really interested in the work they do, and that definitely helps.
@Judith Slutler I feel your pain. My roommate told me that my request that he clean his cats litter box because it was stinking up the apartment was unreasonable because my room is just as bad as the litterboxes. (!?) I had to retort. EXCUSE ME!? I don't SHIT in my room.
This was just the tip of the iceberg in an argument that is basically; we don't live together well. He needs his own apartment, and can't afford it. So he's stuck with us and takes his frustration out on me.
I'm moving out because I shouldn't have to deal with that. Don't blame yourself, you're doing your best.