"because I had been masturbating unsuccessfully with a Conair curling iron for about 2 years."
Can I just say I'm semi obsessed with the outfits here? The magenta wrap dress with vintage earrings! black wool minidress with buttons up the back!
@Stevie I have had this happen more than once around Herald Sq, but I have mostly perfected my annoyed sigh/"REALLY?"
@abigailnicole "I worked in a herpes lab for three years" would make a great title for a Billfold post. Just sayin'.
Neal Stephenson came up with the far superior version of this in Snow Crash. An insertible Vagina Dentata that would sting an unwelcome penis with a massive dose of sleeping agent.
@j.a.b. They like bananas! Aww.
Either way, this list needs semicolons because it contains a list element with an internal comma (either hand-picked, like bananas OR like bananas, they are best picked green). Semicolons!
East Coast - London for 2 years. I actually didn't struggle that much figuring out time difference stuff, he was 5 hours behind me. We also both had office jobs and spent all day on gchat. Regular skype sessions on the weekends and evenings where I was willing to stay up until he got home.
That's not to say its easy. It was super tough. But when its worth it, its worth it. Living together 2 years now and couldn't be happier.
DC-Paris was hard -- we could only talk first thing in the morning or right after work, and always when one of us was just waking up or going to bed. But we survived and now we're married, the end. (I just put an extra clock widget on my phone screen, which cost $0 instead of $480).
@Derbel McDillet This sounds like a horrible disease and I certainly wouldn't want to have it, but I would like to pause, lovingly, for a moment on the idea of "medicinal potato chips."
@Olympic Hopeful I'm pretty sure my brain wiped all knowledge of my college admissions essays roughly 10 seconds after I submitted the applications. All I remember is this vague sense of feeling really, really dumb as I was writing. Unfortunately, this describes most of my experience writing, so I don't even know if my admissions essays were actually cringeworthy or not.