By Lucienne on The Essential Life Lessons of the Dairy Queen Sisterhood

"because I had been masturbating unsuccessfully with a Conair curling iron for about 2 years."

tiny screams

Posted on June 5, 2014 at 4:22 pm 1

By NellyBly on What I’ve Learned About the Weddings I Remembered

Can I just say I'm semi obsessed with the outfits here? The magenta wrap dress with vintage earrings! black wool minidress with buttons up the back!

Posted on May 1, 2014 at 9:40 am 1

By meetapossum on My Valiant Battle Against a Loud Co-Co-Worker, Part I

@Stevie I have had this happen more than once around Herald Sq, but I have mostly perfected my annoyed sigh/"REALLY?"

Posted on November 15, 2013 at 12:41 pm 1

By stuffisthings on How I Found Out I Didn't Have the Herpes I'd Been Living With for Four Years

@abigailnicole "I worked in a herpes lab for three years" would make a great title for a Billfold post. Just sayin'.

Posted on November 13, 2013 at 5:00 pm 3

By Sally on Would You Ever Buy a Pair of "Anti-Rape Underwear"?

Neal Stephenson came up with the far superior version of this in Snow Crash. An insertible Vagina Dentata that would sting an unwelcome penis with a massive dose of sleeping agent.

Posted on November 4, 2013 at 11:31 am 3

By gtrachel on Olives - It's What's For Dinner

@j.a.b. They like bananas! Aww.

Either way, this list needs semicolons because it contains a list element with an internal comma (either hand-picked, like bananas OR like bananas, they are best picked green). Semicolons!

Posted on October 25, 2013 at 1:08 pm 6

By khaleesi on A Wristwatch That Alleviates the Struggle (of Long-Distance Love)

East Coast - London for 2 years. I actually didn't struggle that much figuring out time difference stuff, he was 5 hours behind me. We also both had office jobs and spent all day on gchat. Regular skype sessions on the weekends and evenings where I was willing to stay up until he got home.

That's not to say its easy. It was super tough. But when its worth it, its worth it. Living together 2 years now and couldn't be happier.

Posted on October 25, 2013 at 11:14 am 1

By stuffisthings on A Wristwatch That Alleviates the Struggle (of Long-Distance Love)

DC-Paris was hard -- we could only talk first thing in the morning or right after work, and always when one of us was just waking up or going to bed. But we survived and now we're married, the end. (I just put an extra clock widget on my phone screen, which cost $0 instead of $480).

Posted on October 25, 2013 at 10:17 am 2

By MmeLibrarian on Interview with a Person Who Used to Be Paralyzed

@Derbel McDillet This sounds like a horrible disease and I certainly wouldn't want to have it, but I would like to pause, lovingly, for a moment on the idea of "medicinal potato chips."

Posted on July 24, 2013 at 12:54 pm 31

By daisicles on ERMAHGERD, More College Admissions Essay Prompts

@Olympic Hopeful I'm pretty sure my brain wiped all knowledge of my college admissions essays roughly 10 seconds after I submitted the applications. All I remember is this vague sense of feeling really, really dumb as I was writing. Unfortunately, this describes most of my experience writing, so I don't even know if my admissions essays were actually cringeworthy or not.

Posted on July 16, 2013 at 1:36 pm 3