Our dog is supposed to get a cookie every time she goes outside. She thinks if she goes in and out like three times in a row she will get three cookies. She thinks this, and if I am the only one home, it turns out to be true. This cookie hustling dog is not the dog in the photo. The dog in the phot is in heaven. He was even ruined-er

On Remembering 'Hocus Pocus'

Three things:
1. I have already watched Hocus Pocus this year, on repeat for an entire afternoon
2. dark_crystal is my screen name on all of the butch-femme forums
3. American Beauty is still my favorite movie of all time and I don't care what "they" say

Posted on October 17, 2012 at 11:57 am 2

On The Day You Get Your MFA in Poetry

@Awesomely Nonfunctional @totallyunoriginal and the combination of both of your usernames is likely why my BFA in art has not lived up to any of this

Posted on July 26, 2012 at 11:51 am 0

On Interview With a Bat

@kgg conserving bats is awesome and all, but "Batcon" sounds like something way more awesomer, in the costumed-geeks-inundating-hotel-ballrooms department

Posted on July 26, 2012 at 11:44 am 2

On Texts From Sweet Valley High

@Jinxie GUYS I OWN A LAVALIERE*, GUYS! I must be a Wakefield!! (Vaguely teardrop-shaped scrolled-and-filigreed pendant, mine has two stones and kind of a fleur-de-lis bail. I am the fourth-generation possessor)

Posted on July 17, 2012 at 7:15 am 2

On Three Vanity Plates I Saw Yesterday

@Nutmeg I have Anastasia Krupnik on my Kindle RIGHT NOW

Posted on July 9, 2012 at 4:43 pm 0

On Friday Open Thread

@Roxanne Rholes Oryx and Crake is in my top five favorite novels of all time

Posted on June 1, 2012 at 5:34 pm 0

On Subject Lines of Obama Campaign Emails That Sound Like a Stalker Wrote Them

@area@twitter @whizz_dumb

I KNOW!! Bill was a great President but I bet in person he's a big ol perv. I am a gay lady and if you want my money don't make my inbox look like Bill Clinton is stalking me!

Posted on May 29, 2012 at 1:47 pm 1

On The League of Ordinary Ladies: Short Dates

@Grace Anne Boucher@facebook SPORT-LYING. Is totally a thing. For instance: eating pickled beets cures blepharospasm

Posted on May 23, 2012 at 9:44 pm 0

On The League of Ordinary Ladies: Short Dates

@Hellcat my ex used to do this and I would be like I AM SITTING RIGHT HERE

Posted on May 23, 2012 at 9:37 pm 1

On Scenes From My Recent Cruise

@ Slight Joy "Temperatures were uterine" i heart DFW so much. i wish i coulda told him :(

Posted on May 23, 2012 at 8:44 pm 1