avid enthusiast of storytelling, humor, improvisation, games, grammar, & serendipity. also: rollercoasters, hoppy beer, cheese, & other experiences/consumables.

On The Engagement Phone Cover and The Wedding-Industrial Complex

@ejcsanfran *pats spot next to her on the Pedantry Bench* come sit here; I'm just quietly fuming at the seemingly rampant trend of misspelling "masturbate."

Posted on April 3, 2014 at 4:12 pm 0

On Mysteries of Adulthood

@Pear tea yeah, there are plenty of people I don't talk to anymore, but there are a couple I Don't Talk to Anymore, & even if I'm fine with that it doesn't make it any less weird.

Posted on April 3, 2014 at 4:08 pm 1

On Dallas Pizzeria Owner Takes Brave Activist Stand Against Ranch Dressing

@Rookie (not the magazine) (not that there's anything wrong with that) well, in Team Ranch's defense, I think it's usually used as a dip for the crust, not the entire pizza. & it's hard to argue that many foods (crudite, breads, chips, etc.) aren't made more delicious by being dipped in ranch dressing.

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 5:40 pm 0

On Bill Murray and Me

it was a pleasure to read this. :)

Posted on March 28, 2014 at 12:07 pm 1

On Bill Murray and Me

@Trudy Kockenlocker I love you.

Posted on March 28, 2014 at 12:07 pm 0

On The Unfollowed Pie

based on my own personal experience, there should be at least a sliver of "I followed you because you posted something funny/interesting, but then I realized you were actually racist." :(

Posted on March 28, 2014 at 9:31 am 1

On Did You Bring Your Dick to the Table?

@Bus Driver Stu Benedict it's not that kind of party!

Posted on March 28, 2014 at 9:29 am 0

On Coming-Out Technology, Exiting the Girlfriend Zone, and the Lesbro Conundrum

@stonefruit AQC is so wise. I've probably read a hundred versions of How to Get Over a Breakup, but this still felt incredibly fresh & relevant (even if I'm in no way recently-broken-up).

Posted on March 13, 2014 at 2:51 pm 1

On The Unglamorous Life of a New York City Private Eye

@isavedlatin it's definitely a better answer than "I wanted to help a busybody hassle their neighbor about harmless drug use." (I liked this piece overall, but that just seemed like a shitty assignment--even if it provided an interesting contrast to the presumed glamour of the job.)

Posted on March 13, 2014 at 2:45 pm 0

On What My Mom Wishes I Was Blogging About

@DoMark my friends used to count the number of times I told my mom "okay though I REALLY have to go now" before actually hanging up. even if I said "alright the plane I'm on is actively taking off & an air marshal is about to arrest me" she'd probably take that as an invitation to list all my former classmates who've recently had babies.

Posted on March 13, 2014 at 2:42 pm 1